I don't even know which way to go with that.

We should start some kind of support group.

I already went to the trouble of getting my masters in public health. It's too late to turn back now, and all that. Maybe I'll just start loitering around engineering firms. Or hitting bars near engineering firms for happy hours. Now I'm cookin!

I can barely work my damn computer.

Haha, at least I knew what I was getting into. You need to renegotiate your benefits package to include either a Single Dudes New Hire Tuesday (like casual Friday but better), or more time off to meet dudes, since they clearly falsely represented the goods.

I work in a big, tall building that looks like a prison, and hasn't been renovated since at least the 80s. I have floor-to-ceiling windows, but they are the width and style of prison windows, so I have, like, five ugly slats of glass across my office wall. And I can see everyone in the identical prison-esque building…

Oh sweet jesus, I hope I get to use my large extra desk for an illicit purpose someday. Seriously, that is a life goal for me.

WHO ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE IN OFFICES WITH A JILLION DUDES? I've been in health-focused non-profits for almost three years now, and it's me and a bunch of middle-aged women. I love these women - they are knowledgeable and supportive and generally great coworkers, but there is NO ONE to bone.

I know one stand-up comedian who is a well-rounded, happy person with - if I'm being honest here - self-esteem to spare. And she is STILL intolerable. I'm sure there are plenty of delightful comedy folk, but she is my precedent for the population, so I'm not terribly eager to meet the rest.

The one who obsessively asked about farts. Like, before anything physical had happened between us, after only hanging out a time or two, he'd be like, "Do you ever let them slip? Do you have to fart right now?"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Oh my god, I cannot believe a grown man did that. Well, I can, but ... OMG.

Wha .... ? How? I don't understand.

And now I'm not going to bed for five hours because I have to go watch the damn thing.

Being kind and good to people goes a long way. A) It means you're not an asshole, and B) you never know when an opportunity will arise that either allows someone to connect you with the perfect person/job/organization, or that allows you to do the same for someone else. My current and previous jobs - which I LOVE/D -…

Not too long ago, my friends and I ran into James Marsden at a local dive bar. We didn't gawk or go up to him or anything, because I assume that celebrities just want to have a beer in a dark bar undisturbed sometimes, like the rest of us. He actually ended up approaching us for our help in settling a bet, in a…

Eh, I've liked him in plenty of roles, but he'll still always be, "Jesus, Elton, can't you suck?!?!" to me. Credit card games and the Cranberries, man.

Come on, no one's fucking the dude on the left. And no one's marrying the cunt-sniffer.

I'm just impressed that the hair isn't in a don't-give-a-fuck bun. Yoga pants and a gross bun are my signature weekend hangover pairing.

Please tell me Donna is impersonating Tom there.

I remember that one! I remember laughing and laughing and yelling, "SCHAUDENFREUDE!" in a German accent.