It doesn’t sound like it really applies to this case, but I’ll take the opportunity to again point out that if the government wanted to seriously address the issue of undocumented workers, they would punish those who employ undocumented workers. This seems like an easy answer. Hiring undocumented workers happens…

Hate speech isn’t the same as free speech. Also, the First Amendment protects you from being punished by the government for your awful rhetoric—but the rest of us don’t have to buy that shit. As a business owner, if an employee shoots his mouth off in a way that might hurt my business, I have the right to fire that…

This is why the left can’t win. 

For reasons I can’t understand, this guy has skated on a bunch of legitimate charges. I have no reason to believe things will change, he’ll get double secret probation, or some shit. He’s a scumbag with infinite breaks. I just don’t understand.

If only the asshole had tied one end of a rope to the concrete, and the other end around his neck...

I’ve done it. You owe me $38.49

If only the cross country team had a boosters group...

This is why Trump won. 

Wish I’d read ahead before posting. You nailed it.

Wish I’d read ahead before posting. You nailed it.

I actually notice the opposite: Lots of women wearing rain boots if the sky is the least bit overcast. No opinion on it, really don’t care, and it is a fine look, but I notice it.

I actually notice the opposite: Lots of women wearing rain boots if the sky is the least bit overcast. No opinion on…

I can’t stand stuff on the front of my neck. I’m with Mitch Hedberg-a turtleneck feels like your being choked by a weak person. In 1989, my go-to look was a mock turtleneck with a flannel over it, but now I’d freak right out. Can’t stand anything like a turtleneck.

I can’t stand stuff on the front of my neck. I’m with Mitch Hedberg-a turtleneck feels like your being choked by a…

As a guy who spends way too much time fixing his elderly mother’s innocent and trusting mistakes (she’ll give her bank account information over the phone to literally anyone who calls), I wish the FCC and the telecom industry would develop better protections against this shit (like being able to follow VOIP back to…

M. Emmet Walsh! “So he’s got a sandwich in one hand, and the fucking head in the other!”

The wise-cracking elevator operator in that movie is Jim True-Frost, who played Prez on the Wire. Love that movie.

This fan would be fine with it. In fact, I encourage it.

See, that’s the Trump deception. He sold his name in a licensing deal to casinos. He didn’t have anything to do with them. His business for the past 30 years has just been licensing his name, which investors think has some cache, like Trump is an icon of success that rubes will be drawn to. Trump isn’t actually…

Right? Like I want a mashup of Paul Manafort’s daughters’ texts with Trump’s. Set to a beat of like 120bpm. Lots of atmospheric keyboard.

Yup, I forgot about that. Public toilets suck.

I hate this topic so much, but feel the need to explain: The idea is that when a man sits for Number 2, his enormous dick hits the water or the bowl. This has never been a problem for any white man ever. And if Wilt Chamberlain never complained about this, I’m certain it isn’t a thing. 

Thus the toilet patent. It allows him to bob for apples.