It was in Canada, which is where my girlfriend lives. My really hot Canadian girlfriend.

There’s always money in the banana stand.

Frozen chocolate dipped bananas... I think they made a tv show about them.

Don’t blame NASA. After the end of the Apollo program, a very conservative Congress came down hard on NASA and like almost all other beneficial government programs, proceeded to gut funding, enabled by Reagan.

“1.1HP”

Rope up a small flock of hoverboards in front, like little electric sled dogs.

Better yet-how it passes the approval of the local homeowners association.

My first job out of college was at that paper!

 I believe that it is a measurement of rice harvests per Five-Year-Plan.

I have a feeling the numbers may mean something else, such as percentage of charge left.

so that we can drag race?

I used to work at the newspaper that was once next to where y’all got lunch! My old building is now a parking lot.

Hmmm ... 47 might make sense if the speedometer is calibrated in km/h.  (47 puts you just a hair below 30 mph)  

Can’t wait for the “Making it a street legal vehicle” video. 

To be fair, Mark Brandonoweicz is the Ann Veal of Parks and Rec.

British food? Crap? But steak and kidney pie, and other meat pies. The sunday roast with yorkshire puddings. Roast lamb with mint sauce. Cornish pasty. Shepherds/cottage pie. Black pudding. The full English breakfast. Bubble & squeak. Eton mess. Cherries jubilee. Battenberg cake. Scones with clotted cream. Rhubarb…

People who like legitimate, recognized styles of barbecue slam other people who like legitimate, recognized styles of barbecue for not knowing what real barbecue is. So I don't think that is as good a point as you think it is.

Green vomit-face emoji. Sadly too many people do this mayo in guac shit.

A dinner fork is usually enough to mix.

I cannot trust any blood relative of Skip Bayless.