I’d like to see Rob Manfred try to make Jim Leland wear a patch.

Something something lazy joke about balls to the chin something HI-YOOOO!

I actually get more of a Brett Kavanaugh vibe from him.

I too like to fuck, fuck, fuck for the home team.

It isn’t stopping dummy. It’s just that this article is more whimsical and not the place for commentary on the NCAA.

More Jacoby Thoughtlets: if the oven is on at 425 degrees downstairs, how come I can’t cook a batch of Totino’s Pizza Rolls in my bed?

Fine it’s a Hoover but apparently you have to keep up appearances around here lately

Then Allie Long eats a page. It rules.

Was it bring your muffin top to the game night? 

“And she yells, ‘I am your minister and you’re a fucking piece of shit and you’re a fucking loser’.” 

Suicide. Is there a shortcut this guy won’t take?

Well, fuck.

I’ve been fine with the goofs so far but I would caution the team that in the event of a goal against the Netherlands they should be careful with any finger in the dike celebrations

“I don’t disagree with [the notion] that they’re being exploited, but I think it’s for the betterment of everybody,” he adds. “I know it sounds crazy … I think there’s a middle ground...”

Of course Charles McKee III is the FBI’s golf-crime investigator.

Boomers in 2000: Don’t believe everything you read online.
Boomers in 2019: Twitter user “Rea1NBAC0ach” said it, so it must be true!

There’s no obvious reason why West should receive this award at this particular time

So ... +2 Geoffrey cosplay photos?

It’s a question that will have to be answered soon by the Saints and Drew Brees, the Chargers and Philip Rivers, the Cowboys and Dak Prescott, the Bucs and Jameis Winston, and the Titans and Marcus Mariota...

bEaTiNg ThE sHiFt KeY iS HaRd.