Shouts to the FedEx Forum DJ for dropping The Gap Band right after Crowder hit that shot, too. Banger.

Whelp, time to build a new stadium.

If we are going to talk about human victory cigars and not bring up Brian Scalabrine what are we even doing here?

The real Astros’ hero is Urquidy, first postseaon start with 5 scoreless innings on the “bullpen” night.  If only Trump had been there to see a Mexican ass whooping some National(ist)s.

Just what we need: another pathetically needy orange attention hog who attends every ALCS, NLCS and World Series game.

[buzzers in]

The answer was literally The Answer this time. 

It officially takes longer to drive to/from that god-awful stadium than it does to watch the game itself.

Tacko Bruiseday

Taco Fall is nice and all, but I’m really looking forward to Chimichanga Summer.

The taller they are, the Tacko they fall?

He tried to spring forward but had to fall back?

Way to embrace your inner Dad.

“...against a rolling Stephen Strasburg...”

“I have an idea.” -Ronnie Lott

+1 uncomfortable silence

This is no worse than Josh Allen seeing spooks.

Your mastery of statistics is better than your sense of humor.

“He’s the nicest kid in the world”