I've got one that Timehop reminded me of today actually.
JFD108
jfd108
The holiday parties at my former company were epic. An open bar, a free hotel room and 150 stressed out workers made for a drunken festival.
Well, this story isn't from a holiday party, but it was an office party, and I sure as hell did make an ass out of myself. It was my first big party at my first real job; I was in charge of planning the day's activities, so naturally I was in panic mode for an entire week straight before the event. I wanted to impress…
It's the helmet that ruins the picture. Putin would never wear a helmet.
Listen, I've heard En Vogue's "Free Your Mind," too. You're not going to educate me on the minority experience in America any more than my life already has. There's a massive difference between flustered, furious and crazy. As a person of color, a "plus size" person, and a gay person I'm very familiar with what…
My freshman year of college, I made the mistake of dating a very serious born-again Christian. (I was raised both Catholic and Unitarian Universalist, I'm not sure what he was doing in the relationship either.)
Or..."Fine. Could THE NIGHT please take out the goddamn trash?"
You had me at "vulvadoodles", Uber...you had me at "vulvadoodles."
I HAVE NO IDEA. HOLD ME.
It's an ideal friendship, people consistently talk down to both kids and the elderly, it makes sense that they'd be like "fuck it, let's hang out together and promise to not ask one another incessantly about whether we have to go the bathroom."
You old as fuck. For this club, you know, not for the earth.
I mean I'm pretty sure love is just tolerating another creature's farts, forever.
...did anyone else read that at first as "Alyssa Milano..."?
All hail the glow cloud.
But does he have his own radio show set in a mysterious desert town?
He's in good hands now; he's with the Lard. Our savior, Greasus.
Ooooooh, you fancy.
I loathe One Million Moms. They need to stick to laundering their menstrual-scented Anne Taylor stretch pants and reading their clandestine copies of Fifty Shades of Grey while the smart people talk about smart people things.
especially when her friend in the picture is clearly wearing a sign that says, "Die, Tumor, Die"?