Women be fast and furious?  I’m confused.  

Fast & Furious: Left Blinker Eternally On

*types women driver joke* *immediately gets hit by a truck*

The science on this one gives me paws.

I’ve always felt the DNA tests for humans were sketchy. But the ones for dogs are totally legit.

His name is an anagram for ‘bad killer’, and this movie sounds gloriously terrible enough that that might actually be deliberate.

It turns out that the giant tuna was actually just the friends we made along the way.

Well, might just mean she was in high school at the time.  “I get older, they stay the same age” etc.  

Really, 36 to his 49 is just ridiculous nonsense. McConaughey has specifically stated he prefers high school girls that stay the same age as he gets older.

I’m more amused by the lazy beach town being named Plymouth, I assume the twist is that this is all the dream of a bored historical re-enactor churning butter.

That's the big reveal. It's all taking place in Mal's mind, man.

He’s engaged to Rosemary Fryer.

I got a Firefly notification for /this/?

So it’s an isekai anime? Cool. Sign me up for Sandra Bullock fighting goblins and tsundere demons. 

This is basically where I’m at.

Someone may say “Well, the KH complete sets are available for PS4". I’m aware of that. I’m also aware of the fact that I just have absolutely no time to go through a million games (AND a mobile game which apparently contains some important canon?). I played 1 and 2 and just sorta dipped…

I WANT to be hyped for KH2, but godDAMN. The story is just so convoluted and it feels like if you haven’t played all the side games (over a ton of systems), you’re not going to know what the holy living hell is going on and I HATE that. I feel sad because I so want to love this game and dive into the worlds, but...the…

“Some” of the proceeds

Earned a spot on SNL? 

Unpopular opinion: I like the stories about Pete, he’s interesting, he already was before all of the blowups, he’s talented as hell when he can keep it together, I look forward to seeing a full standup set by him (esp if he’s opening for Mullaney). He’s also fascinating because he’s got some serious overlap between…

Orrrrr yukking about bad movies is generally a comedy schtick that has now existed across multiple mediums for years and that’s generally even more successful when an objectively successful and subjectively even great filmmaker writes up a real weird one, even discounting said filmmaker’s dicey relationship with…