So is he now the flattest flat Earther?

Billy Joel is the autoplay Farmers Insurance ad of rock radio.

How bad does it have to get before Netflix acknowledges that its user-hostile interface is driving users away? Like many, many other people I’d like to be able to peacefully browse for something unexpected and interesting without an annoying trailer kicking in that I can only escape by moving to the next thing.

There aren’t. At least unless you can find many reports of mobs of middle age people in a park after midnight getting into fights and tearing up the place as often as the teens do, which is what “lots” means.

He didn’t even knock the guy out stiff. He flattened him completely limp. That was brutal.

I disliked this film when I saw it on Saturday. Now, with some time to reflect, I’m really hating it. Who was Snoke? Fuck you, it doesn’t matter. Who’re Rey’s parents? Screw off, it’s irrelevant. Here’s some wacky hijinks at an interstellar casino, suck it up and enjoy that, you dipshit Star Wars fan.

Franken-Berry, starring Josh Gad

Prudent of publications to not buy and publish the photos. Publishing images of people in bed without their consent has bankrupted publications before.

Just fantastic! Really awesome! This is exactly the kind of smart twist that can really work wonders for and totally reinvigorate a fran...

Young men who are skilled at football tend to be skilled at other athletic pursuits as well. What’ll happen is that you’ll gradually see more and more guys who might’ve gone to college on football scholarships instead going into other sports, sports that generally don’t carry the risk of making you both a cripple and a…

Ahhhhh, we have reached the Summit of Mt. Shit.

The omission of skateboarding as a top video game sport is criminal. The Tony Hawk games are so good they've completely ruined watching actual skateboarding for me.

Last time my Yorkies did that, I sold them to a takeout restaurant I stopped using.

Clearly he’s never had a double-double with grilled onions.

I told my (now) wife something early when we started shacking up: You can tell me what to do, or how to do it. But not both.

“That’s not how you play hide the cigar...”

The villain of the Justice League movie is Zack Snyder

Here’s your chart to live by:

Prosecutor: “Now Mr. Pierre-Paul, is the man who tweeted your medical records in the courtroom today?”