drew puts knives in the dishwasher.  fry his face too.

Luckily for the Vikings, Josh Hader is just one state over, and has plenty of experience with offensive lines.

“Does Superman enjoy watching sports? Even the greatest human athletes are pathetic uncoordinated weaklings compared to a Kryptonian; for him watching MLB must be like watching your kid’s T-ball league. Is he a good enough person that he can appreciate the competition for its own sake?”

Conners? They've moved on to the rookie Samuels. Come camp, it will be some rookie free agent annoited the next Fast Willie Parker.

The US intelligence community didn’t fail us in Iraq II or pre-9/11. What the intelligence community knew was reported to the political leadership and then the political leadership told us what they wanted to. (The Bush administration knew the CIA was at best uncertain on whether the Nigerian Yellowcake story was…

Carpenter: Hey! He’s reaching outside the regulation playing surface. That’s not the Cardinal Way!

Take it from me and don’t get your hopes up...having said the same thing going into every birthday party I’ve had in my adult life, it never is, and you’ll only end up disappointed.

I might also catch flak, but whenever I dance with the ol’ jazz cabbage my go-to snack is pineapple. My friends think I’m insane. 

I know the commenters are going to type “No, you shouldn’t feel bad. You behaved yourselves, so let’s move on.” But I

They shouldn’t have rebranded from “The Machine” without giving this guy a shot in the morning slot.

Check out the dude who doesn’t know about surface tension.

I’d argue that while Mr. Pullman is clearly a sack of shit, Ed Sheeran’s

i wish you’d stop commenting too, because i think you’d only stop commenting if the fucking gun violence stopped and i wish the gun violence would stop. 

Whataboutism is in fact an attempt to distract from the terrible things that you or someone you support by pointing out that the other side is also terrible. This is stating, hey these are bad things that ‘our’ side is doing, that we would like to change. That is not whataboutism, this is in fact perfectly valid…

So um, wanting families who cross the border illegally to be treated humanely is the same thing as wanting no immigration enforcement or borders? Oh, and most people who are against ripping these families apart must live in gated communities?

I got on a kick a few years ago where I was just devouring knowledge about the Interstate system and the impetus Eisenhower had to build it. Turns out, the US Army noticed the problem of inter-state travel back in World War I, when they’d recruit a kid from Kansas and then spend a month trying to ship him across the…

Mint chocolate anything is garbage. Get the fuck outta here making my chocolate taste like toothpaste.

Fox at the Hen house? That always goes well.

Another over-complicated “hack”.

Alternative titles: