If every post a contributor writes is immediately shared to the Jalopnik front page, that contributor should be compensated by Jalopnik/Gawker. Just saying...

I don't like sweets but I would be pissed if I didn't get a fart piece.

Yep

If it got any more suggestive, we'd have a Jalopnik/Fleshbot crossover. From Lexus with Orlove.

Yeah but, it WASN'T a Ferrari, was it?

Raphael, I'm proud I have the privilege to wear your name and car on my shirt. Thank you for your story.

Fun fact: If you read this article with your head tilted at a 90 degree angle, it's a story about a man who drives his 1973 Baja Bug, without any issues, has driven it sensibly from point A to point B from the moment he purchased the car and never had to deal with any pricks trying to pry hard earned money from him.…

Holy crap. First Duke Nukem Forever and now this. We are at the end of days.

Jason, are you drunk?

It's official, Orlove escaped from the asylum.

Woah. The scary thing is that "Jason Torchinsky" on Amazon IS NOT ME. Seriously, I didn't type those in there. Should I be alarmed?

This guy is overly vague:

I found an alternate video with a better exhaust.

Most importantly, R U Hairy?

All. All of the guns.

Why it happened:

Godamnit, Bob.

"Want to pop it on to keep from rolling backwards on a steep hill? Then hopefully you like bending over." ...

Courtesy of ShiftsAndGiggles:

Is it even possible to describe a Rolls Royce Phantom II in a way that doesn't sound like a line out of Last Crusade?