Sweet merciful crap, Douglas. +1

Ha! +1

Ah yes, that famous question from Carnegie Mellon graduates at interviews, “Did you ever watch the time the ol’ pigskin fellows put a shellacking on Washington and Jefferson? My what a sporting contest that was! You didn’t see that game? Well I’ll ask you to quit my office forthwith. We won’t have the likes of you in…

Police cited Gilbert for lack of responsible control.

I think the only thing to make of that is that you have awesome dreams.

They aren’t recurring yet but I suspect the closer it gets to results release day they will become so: I have dreams that I failed the bar exam. I wake up distinctly unhappy and unsettled. It is a lovely feeling that I could sure use more of.

Judge Richard M. “Please Don’t Call Me Chris” Berman

Ha! +1

Ben Shapiro and Ted Cruz went to Harvard Law. Bush, Jr. went to Yale and Harvard Business School. One’s respective degree-granting institution doesn’t mean dick about how smart you are.

Yogi became the first dog to be ejected from a professional baseball game in 2009 when he took a shit on the field

Everyone you described left Philly the second they could.

[Shortly after the end of taping at Today]
Producer: Kathie, I have some bad news. You should probably sit down.
Kathie Lee: [doesn’t so much sit as falls into chair, belches loudly]
Producer: Kathie, there’s no easy way to say this...your husband died.
Kathie Lee: [Mid-slug of white wine] HODA?!
Producer: No, Kathie, your…

This is lovely and wonderful and it made me laugh a hearty laugh. +1

GO OWLS!

Izzy Alcantara kicking the catcher square in the chest after getting brushed back one time too many

I can only presume all of his teammates will ask to settle any disputes by thumb war.

Guess he really is a bulldog.

Another side note: Fuck the Phillies

David Bell

YESSSSS