this is definitely true, but take note: this article would never be written about, say, MASON KARDASHIAN-DISICK (sp?) even though both his parents are raging narcissistic, alcoholic ratings whores. people just hate this little girl because she's a "pig" and she's "gross" and "fat". people tell her this to her face,…

HUMAN BEINGS HATE FAT HUMAN BEINGS AND LIKE TO DEHUMANIZE THEM. WOW. SUCH DIFFICULT TO INTERPRET.

my mom was lifting weights, regularly going to aerobics class and running daily up until i was 17/18 so she'd be able to guard herself against me if i ever got physical during our fights.

i've worked at children's museums, zoos, gift shops and such in major cities across the nation and guess what? your kid is probably a fucking ASSHOLE. ;)

she was being a nervous, whiny, self-conscious brat. that's what little 8-year-old girls are/do.

I've kinda done a complete 180 as far as my views on this subject....recent events where I was nearly attacked by a Doberman. What struck me was how quick people were to instruct me on my behavior, as if I were the animal that needed training. For women who genuinely felt victimized by terry Richardson—that shit is no…

this is fucked. return the dudes fucking dog, immediately. the kids can visit.

hallelujah, amen.

when me and my boyfriend first started dating we left eachother the WORST voicemails. SO awkward. now, like another author on this thread, we rap about dogs mostly.

ME AND MY BOYFRIEND ARE OBSESSED WITH DOGS and rap about dogs CONSTANTLY. i nearly got attacked by a friend's doberman last night, so that has been inspiration for some new lyrics this morning.

my boyfriend calls me "j babylon" because i love to make people listen to me babble on, and on, and on.

I AM 26, AND I AM NOT AFRAID OF VOICEMAILS. NOTTTTTTTTTTT.

DR.DRE GAVE HIS WAITRESS A 5,000 TIP SHOULD BE THE HEADLINE

we crashed the site!?!?!?

you're on jezebel. of course you're a beta. but since you're male and on jezebel, i also love you.

DUDE, this is true. in philly (where i work/live) black women go CRAZY over very specific products and they are trading intel on it 24/7. i oversaw a job seminar once and it was basically 30 black women and myself and all the participants received kinky curly goodie bags at the end with a good amount of their products…

Also,

i really just love the line where david carradine says something to the effect of, "I've never been nice; not a day in my life."

i actually wrote gullible on my ceiling a few years back for this exact reason. i believe everything.

yesssssssssssssssssss youre right *strokes beard*