"UGH, it is so cool to live your life based on the caste system of wolves."

ELABORATE

i am relatively fat....like this woman, but stretched out a few inches. my take? this whole monologue is right on the money.

how much money would you pay for solange and beyonce to work this out in a televised duet-duel like this badass number right here.

LOLLLLLLLLLLLL DYING

lol i hope you do because that is so metal....to basically be so internet illiterate that you are like WHAT DOES LAWL EVEN STAND FOR.

now is probably the only time i can say this without being internet scolded but solange seems bonkers. i have never, ever, ever, ever liked her. there is virtually no way she can be a decent, normal human: and not to say this is any fault of her own, but she is BEYONCE'S sister. Beyonce is like self-esteem napalm to…

i

whole foods bought wild oats which was bought by fresh fields which was bought by whole foods, i believe. i used to work at the one in philly and we had old fresh fields/wild oats carts in the parking lot still in use. never heard of fresh and easy though LOL.

salad at whole foods is 8.49 a-fucking-limb AHEM -lb.

oh they will be "payed". not paid. PAYED.

as long as they have hooks at the bar for my purse we're good.

oprah leaving us all in the dust.

i literally just screamed "OOOOOOOOOOO!" out loud when i saw this picture. incredible. she is incredible.

the fact that she uses the phrase "fat girl", especially before the word diet, makes me want to get a running start and drop kick her fat ass to the ground. for real.

sweat beading from a lip into some cleavage is pretty sexy; also, if you eat kosher hamburgers i now know you like hamburgers and we could go out on a hamburger-eating date...*conspicuously slides onto the elliptical next to yours*

i

that market is entirely comprised of 20-year-old college students trying desperately to circumvent their remaining credit hours with a hot bod and a rich man.

people trying to look sexy are always the least attractive. it's all like 20-year-old college girls wearing rolled up soffee shorts and eyemakeup while leering self-consciously at other patrons. just fucking workout and go home to your nicholas sparks novel already.

YES