Well said. Plus does GOOP even do anything instructional besides recipes? I thought her site is mostly ridiculously expensive shit we all supposedly can't live without. Martha definitely isn't thrifty but she'd teach you how to build a log cabin and then charmingly decorate it. (Seriously, I was just looking up…

These are good kids. I don't know if I would have had the maturity to feel anything but hatred toward a person who accidentally killed someone I loved. I don't know if I'd possess the maturity now. But whenever I read about this story, I can't silence the part of my brain that won't stop yelling, "THIS SHOULDN'T HAVE…

: / Yeah. I'm happy for them if all involved are as happy as they claim to be, but at the end of the day, this guy got Ross Gellar'd.

Wow. I am so sorry this happened to you. Also I haven't been to Disneyland, but I'm going to assume those were some expensive fucking velour pants.

He tied celery with croissants! Croissants are flaky, delicious excuses to eat butter...celery tastes disgusting and has those fucking strings in it and makes your tongue numb. So he better not have ranked them by goodness.

snickering heartily at "Ol' Hank" and also GOD he's hot.

Wrench in your theory: I know a woman who had HG in her second and third pregnancies. Her kids go boy, boy, girl. : /

I really feel awful for Kate Middleton. My husband and I were discussing this pregnancy and he was like "Pssh! She's got royal staff to catch all her royal barf!" But no, jerkface....no matter how much money you have, HG sounds like hell on earth. And I'll bet the decision to have the "spare" was something she…

You are a superstar for surviving that and if I were you I'd probably throw that into my kid's face if I ever got really mad. "Oh you don't want to take out the garbage? Well I didn't want to blow chunks 12 times a day, but here we are!" :P I literally don't know what I'd do if I had gotten that during either of my…

Seersucker on little boys is my life. Hear that, infant son??

I love him, but reading these kooky things about his life always fills me with such anxiety. Like if that was my life, that would be the worst thing ever.

Or the days so shitty you unhook as you drive home. Bless.

;) I considered adding that zinger, but I'm lazy.

Yes, sunscreen grease! Maybe that's how they adhered they 16 bronzers. ;)

Wow I think it's a terrible photo. The setting and staging is definitely sexy, but she looks so....dusty. Her hair and makeup look like it entailed crushing up sixteen compacts of bronzer and then blowing it onto her using an industrial fan.

Not unexpected and still so...unbelievable. Joan Rivers is the reason my most cherished childhood doll has two black marker dots on her face because she gave Miss Piggy "doe eyes" in the Muppets Take Manhattan. I was 4. May she rest in zinger-slinging peace.

Hee. I definitely think she would have liked that joke. Much like Billy Eichner's "Snap out of it, bitch!"

Just as long as there's Olaf. My daughter is 3 and refers to that movie exclusively as, "The Silly Snowman."

It's like he's out to prove he's humorless. We know, Kanye! You don't have to keep doing it!

You're right, I think seeing it would have led to chickening out (at best) or full-on fainting.