I wanted to punch his face in reading this and then I saw that his name is ALEXANDREW and that urge only doubled.

My real name is unpopular and nottttttttt sexy. (I can think of 4 celebs who have it and just 1 is even remotely sexy to me.) And neither am I! I don't blame my name for the lack of sexy, but it certainly doesn't help. But I will say that after naming 2 children, the potential sexiness of the names chosen were never a…

One of the kids I used to nanny for ran to me to narc that the littlest one had used "the S word." I was floored that a happy-go-lucky 6 year old would be dropping s-bombs so I prodded further until the 8 year old revealed the S word was "stupid."

Two such stories: Had a computer class teacher in high school accidentally tell us to "take out our dicks."

Oh man, thank you for that genuine laugh. Viva puff paint!!

Rowsdower gets all the glory in that film. I salute its unsung hero.

Whoa, I ABSOLUTELY HAVE THIS. If my husband ever wakes me up, I startle like a boa constrictor just slithered up between our sheets. One time he reached over and gave my arm a gentle squeeze and I screamed so loud I woke myself and our kids. I think it bothers him...like he worries I've never gotten used to living…

I have nothing productive to add except to comment on the exquisite beauty that is your username and photo.

I think what could have saved the Vergara bit is if she'd actually, you know, BEEN FUNNY while doing it. Like if they put her up there to be sexy and instead she did a bunch of unsexy things like giving the audience the guns or done like a spazzy mom dance. Or dug at her teeth! The Emmys wouldn't be slammed for the…

Sometimes people are beyond swearing and curse words. Like they don't DESERVE them. Sometimes the only thing that's right is an elementary school playground-style diss. And for those reasons I'm going to declare this fool...a turdburger.

Did he say that Hotmail just picked up Judging Amy??? Goddamn he's a funny man.

Yes, her POSTURE! That is the intangible making this look so much worse!

This looks like she begged her mom to let her wear her tutu to school and her mom said, "Fine, but you have to wear a regular shirt with it." And the decision to give herself the haircut Jimmy Fallon wears for "Tight Pants" was the very very worst decision.

This looks like what you'd wear to Glinda the Good Witch's funeral. :(

Somewhere, Debbie Matenopoulos just looked up from the lemon water she was sipping and gasped, "Someone just mentioned me on the Internet!!!" ;)

Another commenter did mention that, I just feel like it's a weird coincidence if they all managed to have a set of boy-girl twins. Especially when you consider that a couple like NPH and David Burtka had children through a surrogate and again, boy-girl twins. It just seems like the recipe for celebrity "we're only…

First of all, I would rather weigh as much as an actual blue whale before I'd be willing to consume boiled beets in any scenario. And second, I have so much more respect for the actresses who are like, "Look, I've got good genes, and I'm paid to look a certain way, and I don't even remember what cookies taste like."…

Uhhh, cosmetic surgery? Don't you know it's just drinking water and getting lots of sleep???

The often-gross actions of people who are famous-adjacent are another reason I would never want to be famous.

Wow, really? It struck me as so crazy coincidental, I kinda figured it was rich women going to a doctor and being like, "Look, I'm not destroying my body twice because I'm in entertainment, so let's knock this out in one shot." Sputtering Ovaries would make a great band name!