I also give that a side-eye because—PURE SPECULATION HERE—but Mariah is one of those celeb ladies who get pregnant for the first time a little later in life, have a set of boy-girl twins, and then SWEAR it wasn't in vitro. See also: J. Lo, that redhead from Desperate Housewives. There's obviously NOTHING wrong with in…

I feel like that video is the product of parents who think the only interests their kids should be pursuing are THEIR interests. Little sponge brains should be exposed to lots of things. From that video I get the feeling that if she were interested in ballet, it would be stomped out of her quickly.

Literal LOL, Sir.

As in all matters, #teammariah

My friend's son is 9 and just this summer started wearing Under Armour "compression shorts" under all of his swim trunks. You can rarely persuade him to go without. When asked why they're so important, he waffles out a vague "I just like them" response, but his mom and I assume it's because he thinks it looks cool.

As a kid I loved baton twirling, but was only able to master what I could glean from one summer class at the town pool and then noodling around in my backyard. I wish I could have pursued it like this girl—I was always fearless about rocketing that thing in the air and catching it—but I couldn't have done the flippy…

I think you're completely correct and I can already hear Paula Zahn explaining this in her halting reporter cadence. Or the creepy guy from Dateline.

There are plenty of things to dislike about this country, but ranch dressing is up there. It looks like white house paint with...flecks, and I'm guessing it tastes about the same.

I will watch Jurrasic Park whenever it's on TV (my husband: "why??" Me: "I JUST DONT KNOW.") But apparently Hiddles is my long lost soulmate because he's obviously seen that movie 7000 times.

Yeah, I have no idea who that is either. Help, anybody?

Dora strays so far from home it requires a MAP. Gross negligence! And Doc McStuffins' parents let her operate a totally unlicensed medical clinic.

Rosemary Wells has said Max & Ruby's parents aren't dead, but I think she's lying. Ruby is basically Max's legal guardian. And I think Grandma drinks. Sincerely, a former nanny who's 4 charges were OBSESSED with that show.

At least he's better than that good-for-nothing dropout brother of his, Mr. Pibb.

My husband was once in Queens and was walking past a McDonalds when he noticed a woman was changing a baby on a table. I would think that McDonalds would have a changing station so I don't know wtf was going on there. But kudos to her for managing to make McDonalds even more revolting.

Are you the Investigation Discovery watcher I am?? This was also my first thought.

creepy turtle puppets + turtle with boobs= "GAH! WHY!" When photo loaded.

Hahaha I too would take my chances with the Rat Kings of the subway.

I will give her credit for something: North is barefoot. For us normos, there's no greater waste of money than baby shoes. But for someone who could afford to put her kid in a new pair every day, it's refreshingly sensible to see a shoe-free kid.

And the smell of a badly burned English goddamn muffin hangs in the air for eternity. Just like in this life.

HA, maybe that was my store! Honestly, people blow my mind. For one thing, who obsessively holds on to a paper cup to save like, 80 cents? And the refill thing is really just for people drinking out of porcelain "to stay," cups. I feel like that show Extreme Cheapskates exists for a good reason. One day it's coffee…