I don't know why I'm explaining a joke, but: generally when things are high-end, the name is usually pretentious...French words, "artisanal," and such. "FANCY FOOD" seems like something you'd see on a banner in a cartoon, moments before a character ended up wearing a cooked pheasant as a hat and causing a man's…

"You remember, they served the pudding cups and those corn chips with the spicy nacho sauce."

The "summer" wasn't the part I found worthy of mocking.

Wait...seriously..."the Summer Fancy Food Show?" That's the actual name?? That sounds like an event in a cartoon. Like Tom & Jerry would show up to cause mischief.

I'm narrowing my eyes at that Nicky Hilton quote. I am just going to assume this was rich kid "earn my own money," which means that in order to get that pair of $400 ballet flats she wanted, she had to take the garbage out one time. And I don't mean the stinky kitchen garbage, I mean the one in her bedroom that was…

And I think Gibson is more of a feminist than most tv characters. She was so careful about how the women were referred to in the press, refusing to use the word "innocent" because the next victim could be a prostitute and therefore "unworthy" of that adjective in the public's view. She also said something about…

I am with another commenter though, he's not enough for me to actually watch that movie. (I even don't mind Dakota Johnson, the cancelled Ben & Kate—on which she starred—was really good.) But I have to mention that yesterday, I blew through the whole first series of The Fall (thanks, rained-out 4th of July!) I can't…

I'm pretty sure that if you switch your browser to Private, it automatically logs you out of FB. Just saying. COUGH.

I know! I worry that him being in it will kill his career. Before developing my crush, I was hoping it would be a hilariously bad movie...but now I have to hope it's at least halfway not terrible.

I was watching this episode of Graham and, being unfamiliar with a The Fall, I was like, "Who is this tall, gorgeous, funny insta-crush with the great accent?????" And then the words, "50 Shades" kept being tossed around and then I was sad for the rest of the night. :(

In case you haven't seen this, he's also totally adorable. :D

IMPORTANT: Drew Droege will be featured on the upcoming (started already??) season of Drunk History! I always need a second to recognize him out of his chin harness by Philosophy, leading to a lot of "OH! OH! IT'S! GAAAH.......CHLOE IT'S CHLOE!!" when he pops up in things.

HEE, I'm now picturing the ghost of someone who died during the heyday of MySpace and is now befuddled as to why their ghostly transmissions are never being seen or acknowledged.

I bought ingredients for homemade donuts (baked!) with patriotic sprinkles for tomorrow, but I might just let my daughter eat all the "springles" she wants tonight.

My daughter just got a swing set from my parents and we had it placed under a tree in our backyard. The all-day shade is fabulous, but it's basically a duplex for spiders. Luckily she's too little to be really scared of them, but it needs a hose down any time she wants to go in it.

I'd just like to say that a scented eraser set is never a wrong call, in ANY scenario of life. Your dad's 70th birthday? Scented erasers. A wedding gift for your daughter? Scented erasers. Hosting a visiting foreign diplomatic? YOU KNOW IT, scented erasers. Signed, JennyWenny's inner eight year old, who still pines…

I think it's weird her reaction was excitement, instead of the "Oh no" he deserves. That and a tiny thrum of panic over what he's calling himself this week.

Maybe they realize that Parker and Stone are just comedians but James Franco is a Serious Artist. Incidentally, "James Franco is a Serious Artist" would make a great band name.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, or that those children are somehow worse off, but having children is exhausting as fuck. I just can't imagine how hard it is to raise a child—or to argue with a teenager!—when you're that much older. Plus I think there's a greater social disconnect between child and parent as the age…

Okay. Great. And I know dozens of women who've endured those stitches without requiring general anesthesia because "I could feel the needle going in and out." Children get stitches when they hurt themselves. If they can be still and get through it, one would assume a 36 year old woman could have. My point is that my…