do you think there is any way to take back the ‘tea party’ name?

Is that going to show up on the Carfax?

He is definitely in a zero fucks to give state right now and it is glorious.

She is a devout knight of the proletariat.

I work with a lot of fishermen, and I say that’s not a neg, it’s an honest to god compliment, best they know how.

That is not a neg. That is a complement.

Were you running a lemonade stand or something?

I wish. I’ve had pretty great luck with men but that guy was a real piece of work. I did tell him his ostrich skin cowboy boots that he’d just paid $800 for were fake. He was Danish but super into Texas culture, so I think that hurt him more than a wangpunch.

See, most people would have realized their mistake after the first dumb sentence. This dude just kept digging that f*cking hole like a champion @ssclown.

“You move a lot better than most cripples I’ve seen with your condition. Good on you for toughin’ it out and not gettin’ a wheelchair. You should be proud of how strong you are.”

The moment I meet my very short, balding blind date, he skips the introductions to say this:

OMG. The “today” is killing me.

“Girls who have been raped are normally fucking crazy; you actually seem really normal and pretty stable.”

“You’re pretty for a black girl.”

like french fries on a sandwich

“Useless fucking paper clip”: best description of a human I’ve ever read. MORE STORIES, LINDSEY.

I call ahead to the restaurant and tell them she’s had a stroke which has changed her personality

Part of me really wanted Momager to actually smack Psycho Santa with the pizza pan.

How are things going to work out if I’m call myself white and carry a gun at an airport? Not too well, I imagine.

This is some brave shit.