Pfffft, Clarence Fucking Thomas is Clarence Fucking Teflon. Sexually harassing Anita Hill wasn’t enough to keep him out of the fucking Court.... nothing now could bring him down.

They should put a moratorium on the names Chris and Taylor. Or create a super-actor called Chris Taylor and cast him in everything

She’s all about the basic.

I don’t know about New York but she could in Illinois. I lived on the first floor of an apartment building and some kids playing catch in the alley behind my building ended up sending a baseball through my guest bedroom window. I called the landlord to fix it and 3 days later I woke up to a man in my bedroom. I was…

Ode to Donald Trump. Sung to the tune of Tiny Dancer.

Is it me, but does the redhead look like Tom Hanks in “Bosom Buddies”

I like to think they wrote the part for Kathy Griffin, and when she wasn’t interested all they could find in the resulting scramble for the shoot was a Lucy Ricardo wig and a woman willing to work for scale. Like, the original concept was the intestines walking around with a mic, doing some stand-up, maybe heckling…

“He had 50 years to put Tom’s name on any of these papers,” Ms. DeMaio said. “The will was never a valid will.”

Ms. DeMaio suggested that perhaps the two men were just “friends” or “great companions.”

“What he did, obviously from what you explained, is terrible,” the fraternity member told her, “but I do want you to think about what the consequences [are] with him and his future. …”

Except (and as someone with ZERO Spanish/Portuguese) even I could have guessed that contra meant “against” or “oppose” ie CONTRAindicated, CONTRAlateral, CONTRAception.

Right?

For him to understand that shirt, he has to press up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start.

This happened with a friend of my best friend’s little sister. We were both spending the night, so I got to witness the parental fireworks. I think the girls were fourteen or fifteen at the time and my friend’s parents came up with the perfect punishment - the girl wasn’t allowed to come back to the house until she…

I don’t know if this fits, but my grandmother implicated me in her lie. She smoked Cool Menthols. Horrible terrible gross cigarettes. Back when I smoked, I was a Marlboro guy, but I had quite for years.

My mother, who “doesn’t really drink,” kept rum in the freezer. High school me, a “good kid,” used to play chicken with the whole borracha thing. I’d pour myself a little, then replace with water. This went on for a while and...well, I think this is obvious.

I am the crappiest liar ever. I get all hot in the cheeks, my back stiffens up and I start to sweat on my forehead. It is both hilarious and mortifying. So, I invariably get caught in a lie in the middle of while telling it. Great moment in time at an old girlfriends dinner table (while in high school). Her dad…

It was a two-pronged attack:

this girl’s linking to breitbart like it’s real

Not The Beatles?