Yeah, they honestly don’t care at my hospital. My doctor is making it abundantly clear that I can’t breastfeed for medical reasons and we are using formula. But the other hospital actually keeps formula under lock and key and will make you jump through a bunch of hoops.

i swear, when its my time, im not telling anyone the sex because i refuse to outfit my baby in the awful pink and blue ish all over the place.

I want to flip the Senate and house too. IS that too much to ask?

to me, what’s worse than throwing your vote away on a 3rd party is doing it during this election. sure, trump and clinton are incredibly flawed candidates, but HOLY MOLASSES are stein and johnson useless skin sacks with no knowledge in their brains, political or otherwise.

And now I realize that I’ll never see how he and Peggy end up on Agent Carter because those bastards cancelled it.

Ah... the pretentiousness of 3rd party voters. I basically got told to shut up by an American friend because I told him it was a throwaway to vote 3rd party, I know nothing about American politics. This, coming from a guy who kept posting stupid memes on my wall during the last Canadian election.

As an alternative, she could, y’know, go to college and get a real job.

I am born and raised in New England and all I can really say here is FUCK TOM BRADY. He is an insufferable POS. His snooty little attitude makes me want to barf. His Trump friendship certainly isn’t helping. And if he says one more time that he has never ever in his life consumed coffee or a tomato or whatever the…

The last thing I want to do is go “inside Bristol Palin’s whirlwind year.” [E! Online]

I don’t know who Phoebe Price is, but the fact that she decided to do a sexy photoshoot at what appears to be a Whole Foods is...disconcerting.

I’ve only told this story to my closest friends. I haven’t even confided in my sister (for fear of the obvious shame). Please buckle in because this tale needs to be told in length.

I find this hilarious. All the controversy and Dylan gives no fucks.

I will preface this with the fact that unnatural movements freak me out. A lot.

Make a pentagram on your bathroom ceiling from a poultice of your own hair, a gallon of ram’s blood, and the livers of fifteen alcoholic chickens. Cover yourself in a thick layer of golden glitter while chanting that song from The Little Mermaid about Ariel wanting legs in Aramaic and boom, no more spirits.

Or this guy and his not-at-all racist puppets.

I recall David Cross relating that inevitably people will walk out of his shows when his jokes become political and crass. He asks how is it possible that someone can buy a ticket for his show but have no fucking clue as to his sense of humor. He suspects they just show up expecting Tobias.

I’m sure Frank Caliendo will pop back into town to do another hour of Pacino impressions

I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that there is an intersection of Amy Schumer fans and Trump voters.

Let’s split the difference and agree that the flight attendant is an idiot without insulting people based on their professions.

I forgot; who is running for president in 2016?