You just got me accused of masturbating, lmao. My husband was sleeping and so I tried to hold my laugh in when I read what you wrote, which happened to be precisely what I was thinking. In doing so, I started violently shaking behind the repressed laughter and made the bed shake a bit along with me. He opened his eyes…

Because they are charismatic and fun to watch? Both have excellent comedic timing and aren’t terrible to look at.

Her little shoulder shimmy is making me all kinds of happy.

yas cheese

Or someone said, “So how about that Brad and Angelina?” and then all four laughed for two solid hours.

when there’s a lull in conversation:
Jen: I’m fine!

It is always okay for a man to cheat.
It is never okay for a woman to allow herself to be cheated on.

I remember watching a State of the Union address presented by that shifty-eyed talking Rhesus, George HW Bush, and thinking, if a bomb somehow dropped on that building right now, we would get to start all over with new people in those jobs.

Trump is gonna make Bush look like JFK.

So just when are men judged on their wife’s actions? And why doesn’t Trump stand the same criticism for actually being the cheater?

You guys ever see that X-files where the dude can speak to someone and essentially narrate to them whatever they want to happen, like, “your arteries are clogging and getting tighter, your breathing is becoming restricted, you’re having a heart attack” and then he does?

That’s pretty amazing coming from a guy who had a very public, very nasty divorce due to adultery while he was mayor of New York City. The gall of these men...

At least Hillary Clinton wasn’t stupid enough to put the New York City Office of Emergency Management into the World Trade Center against the recommendation of the FBI.

yes you can

How nice that you added that clarifying post, sometimes you need to explain things in an appendix to your main text

Hmm. Looks like airport security just didn’t have ... the guts.

I know it was packaged but I still can’t help picturing it as if it was just loosely strung up inside the suitcase in a shape that they would have in a human abdomen and they just spilled out when the suitcase was opened as if you had just unzipped a human.

From “Yes We Can” to “No Fat Chicks”.

Am I the only one really confused by this vehement denial that he had “the sniffles”?! I mean, sorry dude, the whole world watched you twitch and sniffle--bad mic (?) or not, it wasn’t manufacturing the sound AND FACIAL MOVEMENT of man sniffling.