There is nothing I want to do three days straight including:

up to three days per dose

Taking a drug that’s known to spike your body temperature in one of the most uncomfortably hot parts of the country?

you are failing at #2 and HOW IS #3 POSSIBLE

It always blows my mind as well. I have a daughter (no sons) but I’ve observed this bizarre dissociation within my family. One notable example: when one of my cousins told his mother that his girlfriend was pregnant (he was 15 at the time), my aunt FREAKED OUT that the girlfriend wasn’t on birth control, and called…

Look,

ugh just ban teens

Oh, you’d be surprised...

I was going to make a joke here , maybe about how this sack of shit looks like one of the War Boys from the new Mad Max movie. Well i just can’t. This whole story just gets worse and more digusting with every new development. Over on Gawker i’m already seeing Duggar backlash. Why are you still coveirng this? Move on…

When I was in 7th grade, I tried to pitch my memoir to my English Composition teacher. She bluntly told me that anyone who writes a memoir under the age of 65 is a charlatan. Not only was I not to write a memoir, I was to avoid anyone who was writing one without due cause like they had an infectious disease.

LOOK, I TALK A LOT, BUT I WILL BE DAMNED IF EVERY MAN I HAVE EVER SLEPT WITH HAS NOT HAD HIS FACE SHOVED BETWEEN MY CROTCH AT SOME POINT OR ANOTHER FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN TO GET HIM TO STOP. FUCKING. TALKING.

Man, I have seen this guy’s picture so many times in the last few days! He always seems so smug with a self-satisfied smirk. I really wanna punch him.

I mean...that’s more than a gripe at that point, no? Refusing to work together is some pretty straight up unprofessional shit. I mean, if I refused to work with anyone in this office who bugged the hell out of me it would just be me and the kid who gets lunch and even he’s on thin ice after the “Oatmeal Raisin cookie”…

I meant for me!!! I admittedly did a horrible job of communicating that.

Re: 2 —- Martha’s a fucking G. Respect.

I’m sure all of these fine gentlemen have learned their lesson and will now become upstanding members of society.

Ohh :( I’ll be your retroactive Mommy if you’d like. No organized linen closets, but I bake my own bread and I have doggies and I wouldn’t care if you tromped through the house in muddy boots to grab a freshly baked cookie.

More realistic outcome than what the article has: The school loses a lot of money due to financially-set backers who graduated the college as part of the fraternity who decide to withhold funds in protest of the move. The college, facing sudden inability to meet operational costs, cuts short the investigation, finds…

There are two kinds of people in this world: People that love Martha, and goddamn liars.

CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP LOVING MARTHA