Why does babby go in belli so much?

I am the Queen of Piles. Which - sounds icky but is so descriptive. The piles make Mr. Momster nuts. I’m messy but clean, he’s neat but doesn’t care about the dog-hair dust buffaloes that pile up under the kitchen table (hardwood floors + Golden Retriever + 3 cats = So.Much.Fur.) I’ll stick with my piles and he can…

That should be illegal.

My son must have a long lost twin. He did my underwear over a batman suit and a horse face mask last week for our trip to Target.

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Oh, and she was also in several episodes of Girls.

Introducing J.Crew’s Spring 2016 collection:

I hate everybody and everything.

So what happens is someone takes a selfie? Fingers crossed that they have staff ready with Supersoakers loaded with garlic pickle brine

It must have been an uplifting experience for them.

I like this one because if he’d acted like a responsible adult OR just had the common sense to be tactful and take his shit promptly, his guitars would have been fine.

I went insane. I *actually* tried to (and thought I did) ASTRAL PROJECT myself into his bedroom every night and scream at him. For months. (WTF? I’m an atheist agnostic and I don’t even believe in that shit and I thought I was actually astral projecting.)

I think I burned out a part of my soul doing that (if there is…

Had sex with him in a futile attempt to get him back.

Someone else’s post unearthed this repressed memory: I was talking to an acquaintance who let slip that my ex had cheated on me fairly regularly. We’d been broken up for several months but he had outstanding warrants, so I called the county sheriff’s department with his location.

After breaking up with my boyfriend at the age of 20, I hitchhiked to Berkley and backup up to Seattle. It was a two week trip, with literally no money, and nothing more than the clothes on my back.

I once was in a relationship with this Yorkshire transplant who charmed me senseless, but he turned out to be way less charming and dumped me without even wanting to tell me why. Double whammy: I moved in with his dumb ass and he kicked me out with no place to go besides my mom’s. I banned everything even remotely…

This one gets an A+ for creativity but makes me sad too. If only the beta had gone on to a better home, maybe a farm in the country where it could run and play with other fish?

It wasn’t technically right after the break up, maybe 2 weeks later. I was 17. I had an iron liver and no fear. I went to a giant “my parents are out of town” party at my friends house. It started out with a very adult vegetarian dinner party where we all cooked shit out of Linda McCartneys cookbook, and drank some…

Man....that is....Creative. I have to respect that. What was his reaction?