Or you just need to be secure enough in your relationship to realize that one of you (me) is really good at putting together furniture and that one of you (my husband) sucks at it and needs to stay the fuck out of the other ones way until there is heavy lifting involved.

John made it O.K. to really go deep into watches and not be embarrassed about it.

“We’re all going to end up with the Apple Watch, I don’t care what you say.”

The Sims: Boring People

They already have a pocket Apple watch. It's called a fucking iPhone.

This picture is giving me a video game-y vibe. More specifically, Grand Theft Auto: Douche City

They don’t call them “hex” bolts for nothing!

I don’t know. Did you make sure that one person had a hammer and the other had a pencil behind their ear? Whose fault is it really if you don’t follow all of their instructions properly?

They fail to mention that the end, where you try to get everything you bought into the car to take home, demonstrates once and for all which person in the relationship is better at Tetris. (It’s totally me.)

He wishes.

You know that is Revlon Rum Raisin.

Is that an American thing where people expect you to be proud of their hard work instead of the results of their hard work? I don’t know if it happens everywhere or just in this country, but I fucking hate it! Do you work hard finding a cure for cancer, or saving people from burning buildings, or making delicious…

Where did she get this lipstick? My handbag in 1998?

Are we in agreement that he’s got the best wig game?

John Travolta is looking a lot like Jude Law’s character in A.I.

Same. Also, they really better reveal who her husband was (assuming Agent Carter isn’t coming back, as the rumor mill has it), b/c I wanna know who had the balls to ask out Captain America’s girlfriend.

The longer I stare at that photo of John Travolta, the less he resembles an actual human being. Is he...made out of wood?

I don’t think he knows how babby is formed.

Also, we totally can manipulate birth. And do. All the time. Literally. Every day.

Fucking Penn Badgley. We get it. You took a creative writing course that one time.