You’re right. My apologizes.

Asked whether it’s time for the U.S. to have a woman as president, he said: “I think that’s a sexist comment, and shame on you for being so sexist.”

My second was still crowning and everyone (everyone!) was raving about her blond curly hair. Um, let’s all take a moment to GET HER OUT OF ME and then we can coo over her locks.

pls focus on the important thing

My mom and dad always have to take a turn and they just get ripped on for being suburban yuppies. The guy once said something to my dad about driving home in his Lexus- which was totally true! Cracks me up every time!

I’m pretty sure you aren’t supposed to tell people you’re in witness protection. That’s like going into a bar and telling people you’re a spy.

Yeah, has this poor lady never seen any mafia movies or that episode of The Simpsons where they go live on a houseboat to escape Sideshow Bob? Witness protection is generally a family affair.

I feel like I wouldn’t need the internet to figure this out. Call me clingy, but I tend to insist on being part of my spouse’s wp program.

As someone who grew up on the awesomeness that was the DC Animated Universe, it breaks my heart to see how lackluster this all is. The Justice League has a lore that’s just as rich and crazy as The Avengers, and yet it’s probably gonna be wasted by the utter ineptitude and greed of Warner Bros.

It’s a Zach Snyder movie featuring Affleck’s eminently punchable face. There’s no way in hell it will be really awesome.

Gonna be totally honest: I completely disagree with headscarves and the ideals they are supposed to represent for women. Yes I do find them harmful.

You remind me of a friend who used to take joy in scaring the crap out of little kids when their parents were looking. She always made me laugh inappropriately.

This just made me remember a great one from a friend of mine at an appointment with a student health doctor. Her name’s Kate, but for some reason this guy called her Katie. Then when she corrected him, he got a little pissy about it and said something like “Eh, what’s the difference?” She looked at his name tag, which…

I’m a lawyer, and at the time of this incident was practicing in several fairly small and rural Southern counties. I’d been out of law school for 2 or 3 years, long enough to be tired of the crap I would fairly regularly get from some older male lawyers. I had a trial in the neighboring county, and my opposing counsel…

I love when that happens, when somebody else sets sets the rake down and steps on it, because it leaves you completely blameless for their mortification.

It’s truly the tape that pulls this whole story together. I love you.

For some burns, context is everything.

My grandmother was the most polite person I’ve ever known. Not necessarily the ‘nicest’, but in the tradition of fine scottish-descended, church-going, tee-totalling canadians, I don’t think I ever heard her say anything harsher than a quiet ‘tut-tut’ in her whole life. She was…

I’ve told this story before, but here it goes again.

Age 21, standing on the sidewalk after getting pulled over for suspected drunk driving.

some sick burns i have delivered: