My husband used to get pinkeye all the time. I went to the eye doctor with him once and the guy grilled us both, and kept condescendingly asking if we were SURE we didn’t have chlamydia (we were sure).

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

She’s ten years past! Can you believe it? His “political career” must be to blame.

[Citation needed]

She absolutely should. That’s terrifying. Those kids are being starved.

I just recently discovered that he played the Thor-ish tow truck driver in Adventures in Babysitting, and it really threw me for a loop.

The A&E thing was terrible. I’ve never heard the car theory, what about that suitcase?

Especially since that family is known to be SUPER litigious. If you’re texting with your friend about that case, it’s best to use the word “allegedly” at least once per sentence, just in case.

Starred for Hunter reference, all the other words are irrelevant.

MA here; your political ads (which we get for some reason) are endlessly entertaining. It’s a running joke in my house: “Jean Shaheen eats babies.” “Taxin’ Hassan kicks puppies.” Man, NH politics are entertaining.

Fifty points to Gryffindor, or whatever house you identify with (Ravenclaw here).

My son was a c-section. Nearly 8 years later, we still love each other. As we would if he went straight from vag-to-chest, or orphanage-to-home, or anything in between. Love your kid, and it will work out fine. Honestly, the first 60 seconds after birth don’t count for shit. Just love your kid, and you’ll be OK. You…

This is the all-female Ocean’s Eleven reboot we all deserve.

Have you read her book? The behind-the-scenes of that piece of history was so interesting. She wasn’t on the show anymore (she was busy creating 30 Rock), she NEVER did impressions, but as soon as Palin did that interview, everyone she knew called her up and INSISTED she do it, so she kind of felt like she had to.

What’s weirder, naming the hamster after her, or unintentionally naming the hamster after her?

Why the quotes? Is this another Beyoncé situation?

Same. They used to come into the Friendly’s where I hung out. Scumbags through and through. Remember “Wheelchair Fred,” the disabled man they’d mock for laughs? That’s where they met him.

Ok, this comment really needs a sequel. Are you Chelsea Clinton’s BFF??

Ranch? Maybe.

My vagina just sealed up, thanks a lot.