But did he bring you pizza?

They don’t appreciate your gift. Probably best to keep it in the closet for now. If you ever want to try again, though, I’ll be there to rock with you.

How was your trip, btw? I was actually in the next town over at the time.

Ooh la la!

High five from the Jennifer Ann club

Oh, Oma. If you need cheap therapy regarding this incident, I recommend renting M. Night Shyamalan’s “The Visit” and thanking your lucky stars it wasn’t worse.

*vertebrae

Massachusetts people will now think of Fire & Ice and The Melting Pot and just shake their heads and laugh.

So weird, right? But I guess it makes sense when you consider that your skin is all just one giant organ.

My boyfriend and his best friend had picked me up from my closing shift at Toys R Us, and we went to the friend’s house to wait until it was late enough to go catfishing (literally fishing for catfish; this was the ’90s). His dad met us at the door and told us what happened. We watched the news for a few hours, then…

AMC added a psycho shooter warning into their pre-movie spiel about turning off phones and noting the emergency exit. They make it cutesy, i.e. “If you see any suspicious characters...” with cartoon superheroes and villains, but I take it seriously. After what happened with Trainwreck, you better believe I was closely…

I get checked by a dermatologist annually, and she told me that sun exposure anywhere can lead to melanoma anywhere. Like you could get a sunburn on your face and end up with a cancerous lesion on your butt as a result.

How are their shades? I can never find a BB pale enough for me.

Did you ever get your family member back? I have a similar situation going on.

ILY

Wasn’t it the ghost of Jodie Foster’s dad one time?

You mean dopey sentient BIRD folks ; )

Why is tics in quotes?

...or sometimes Guillain-Barré syndrome.

You need therapy.