New Nintendo every day bc reusing one is gross?

IT’S ON NETFLIX!!! I’m sorry for the outburst, but that was very important.

Didn’t something similar happen about a week ago? Some gross dude writing a gross celeb profile in the same magazine? Or am I crazy?

Good fucking point

Will you tell me more about your Sephora products? Perhaps my human male would be interested in them.

Fargo Season 3 just wrote itself.

I literally couldn’t spend $15k a month on my kid if I tried. How does that work? Do they live at Disney World? Does she have to produce receipts upon request?

OMG yes. I live in the suburbs and I’m closing in on 40, so thankfully I get harassed less often than I used to, but a few months ago I was cat called at a gas station and casually mentioned it to my husband, and he was SHOCKED, especially by how not shocked I was. It took me a moment to figure out that men don’t know…

Milestones never meant much to me. I remember feeling old at 26 because my birthday stopped being a big deal reason to party and instead was just another day. And a couple of weeks ago at CVS, I felt old when all the “women” on the magazine covers were CHILDREN (Chloe Grace Moretz, Zendaya, etc.). Or when you’re at a…

Nothing about that story says “average” to me, and I am very interested in subscribing to your non-existent blog. For real. Please spill, and preferably make money from it. I’m so happy you escaped! (High five)

Please share the Kickstarter link for your memoir

LMAO at Jaeheryes.

Re: jacked up NPH, yes. I have thought that, too.

Spray on, wait two minutes, rub in. Waiting really makes a huge difference.

I mean Katie did get Whole Foods to install a secret entrance just for her.

For real, I know that Selena Gomez is famous for SOMETHING, and I know her face, but until this moment, I had no clue that she was a singer. I was like 80% sure that her claim to fame was the voice of Mavis in the Hotel Transylvania franchise. And that she looks 12 even thought she’s probably more like 22. Am I alone,…

2, 1, 4, 3

Have you seen the 1990 Dudley Moore movie “Crazy People”? Please do.

His go-to joke is yelling “BUTTS!"