Can you please tell me what that is? I’ve Googled multiple times, and I can’t find any answers. Explain it like I’m five. I owe you oatmeal raisin cookies.

My husband and I still quote obscure Mad TV sketches all the time. “Ladies’ polio” “You don’t know me! You don’t know what time I go to work at the phone company!” “The back o’ yo’ head is ridickle-ous!”

After reading this, I realized that I didn’t actually finish the finale before deleting it from my DVR, and I don’t even care. What a waste of time that show was.

Have you never seen that Chris Rock bit about Scared Straight?? “I prefer syrup.” To YouTube with you! Post haste!

I don’t have much Andy Cohen experience, but I HATE New Year’s Eve and LOVE Hollywood Game Night, so I’m calling this a win. Also, 8 celebs and 90 minutes? So it’s a super sized episode? Fantastic!

I always use proper spelling, capitalization, and punctuation. I’m 36. My mother, who is 72, insists on trying to text like a teenager. She makes up her own abbreviations that make no sense whatsoever. It wastes so much time, because every text she sends me is met with, “Huh?” and then she just has to write it out…

We did involve them in our holiday card this year. Just took the pic on Monday. Me, husband, son, 2 cats, and 7 zombies all gathered ‘round the tree.

Kylie’s lips

We have a very large zombie collection, and I keep threatening to do an Easter display. Unfortunately, I’m in a progressive area where it wouldn’t piss anyone off.

Wait, Michigan has a beverage named after Boston? That people in Boston have never heard of? That’s very weird, and I kind of want to invent a Detroit cocktail now.

Spoken like someone who’s never used Charmin Ultra Soft.

I... I object.

Yeah, my husband woke me up with “Scott Weiland’s dead,” and I replied, “O.D.?” He thought that was callous, but come on, it was a long time coming. I’m not cheering for it, but I’m also not shocked.

Nooooo I want to believe that Breckin Meyer and Mark-Paul Gosselar are wonderful people who wish to rub my feet and pour me bellinis (I still miss Franklin & Bash).

So she’s a recent Mexican immigrant who lives with her aunt, has attended that church, and recently gained 10 pounds, but her family STILL doesn’t know? I feel like that’s enough info for them to put two and two together.

Uh, the cord isn’t attached to the mother; is attached to the placenta.

OMG how did I miss that? It may or may not be the reason that I choose to run errands on Saturdays.

They cover their hair, though. Very modest.

True story, I have a friend called Fuckin’ Brian. I wonder if he and Fuckin’ Craig would get along.

I cannot recommend Epiduo strongly enough.