My zombie apocalypse plan includes hoarding IUDs; we should team up.

So close to moving to Australia. At least they have Colin Hay.

I’m not sure where you’re going with that... Massachusetts is second only to Hawaii in non-gun-nuttiness; I personally only know one person (casually) that even owns a gun, and the only time I’ve seen one in person was on the hip of a cop. So for someone from around these parts to spew that rhetoric is very rare.

Now I’m super curious.

I’ve had to do extensive research about them recently, and while I abhor their politics, of course, Jeb and Rubio are starting to seem kind of likable to me on a personality level. It’s terrifying, and I constantly have to remind myself that they’re actually terrible, but they both seem like a couple of doofuses that…

1. How the fuck are those names similar to Justin? Because they end with N? Maybe you should name the baby Jenn.

I went on Facebook this morning and a friend had posted about the situation. Someone- from Massa-fucking-chusetts, no less, commented that everyone should concealed carry. No more Facebook for me.

Starred SO HARD for “do the needful.”

Can we PLEASE stop using the term “pro-life”? They’re clearly not. Anti-abortion. Anti-choice. Anti-women. Take your pick. But they’re certainly pretty fucking far from pro-life. They are literally killing people; how are we still using that term??

Um... Star Wars isn’t set in the future. That’s literally the first thing you see in the first movie. “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.”

I used to be a dental assistant, and I got really good at understanding people with a full mouth.

What did you say to him?? Did you compliment his Canadian tuxedo? Ask what Katy Perry smells like? Spill!

True. My husband actually calls it the Pagan tree. :)

New Wave and dinosaur nuggets OK?

I followed her on Instagram because of that one post.

I was about to say the same thing, until I looked to the right and saw the Christmas tree that my atheist family put up yesterday and realized that I had no place to comment. Those fucking twinkly lights are insidious, dude. They’re just so pretty.

Betty White, dude. Best gams in Hollywood, by far. I’m dead serious.

I feel like your mom is maybe sharing a bit more of your business than she should be.

It’s so easy. Just plop in the YouTube link, tell it when to start and end, and boom, gif. I’ve been using it a lot for work lately.

OMG I did that, too! Not for hours, though.