So she’s The Most Interesting Man in the World, except she’s a woman who eats burritos? Fantastic.

I have actually been to a boat christening, and we learned the hard way that bottles are designed not to break. (Also, it should be wrapped, because otherwise, you’re throwing broken glass in the ocean, which is not cool.)

This is a great argument against all those pescetarians who call themselves vegetarians. STOP EATING ALL THE FISH, FAKE VEGETARIANS! LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE!

That is... very American. Like I think her brother is probably named Apple Pie Baseball. I support it.

I actually almost love that name. Makes me want Bubblicious.

My guess (as a white person, please take it with many grains of salt) is that growing up privileged, on TV, and in the Disney family, she didn’t have the average Black experience and just doesn’t get it. So she’s part of that “New Black” that’s been mentioned here before. I believe Kanye and Pharrell have come up, but…

Social media is at least 25% of Kim’s job, and she doesn’t know how hashtags work. What.

Now that the basics have been covered by other commenters, can I ask why the hell so many people were in a seafood restaurant early in the morning? Who eats fish for breakfast, besides The Rock?

Reminds me of a song...

Can we talk about the disguised Slim Fast ads?

I pictured tan, beige, pale pink, and black.

It’s real milk. They just add the lactase enzyme to it (same stuff that’s in their pills). Source: I married into a family who never evolved to digest dairy.

Also, does Lady Gaga always talk in a weird, vague, fake accent, or just for this show?

Pick me up on the way? I’ll bring a mix CD.

I am offended by all Yandy costumes.

That’s... that’s not what everyone does?

You are correct about it being a Doritos holiday, but many of us would still not rather eat chips specifically in that monster’s name. They also use the week beforehand to teach our children a bunch of bullshit myths about him in elementary schools.

I was late to Spanish class because I stuck around English to watch the verdict.

Why do I get the feeling this guy walks around wearing a t-shirt with “BEYONCE’S DADDY” ironed onto it?

Do you have ADHD? From what I gather, it makes you react the opposite way to drugs.