SO on board with that. I’m also very annoyed by Tourettes jokes.

What kind of rude, vile pig texts someone at 3:49AM?

So, not a grim Zombieland reference. OK.

ALSO, THE SKY IS BLUE.

You’ll be happy to know that James Cordon poached him for The Late Late Show, and Kid Cudi replaced him. Maybe give CBB another try? It’s on tonight at 10.

...he also played Ghandi. This is not new.

I had no idea Houlihan’s still existed. Do they still serve those crazy drinks with plastic toys on the rim?

So why didn’t you just get a different— KIDDING!

High five! Pollotarian and aspiring goat guardian over here!

Nice. I’ve noticed there are a couple of writers who are getting reeeeeeeeally... interesting with their commentary re: white people. Thanks for verifying that I’m not imagining it.

Avril ruins everything.

I’m offended that “Weekend at Bernie’s 2” wasn’t an option.

You are a smart person. Sleep deprivation only gets harder as you age. I hope you sleep until at least noon on the weekends, though.

Let’s be real, their customers aren’t in it for the feathered headdresses.

Any mom who says she doesn’t feel that way from time to time is lying. Being a mom is hard as hell, and when they’re babies, it’s really not all that rewarding. It’s when they start to turn into people that it gets better.

Here’s one more:

Alicia Silverstone

Which one comes in a weird-ass package?

Am I the only one who remembers the clown with the broom from “Showtime at the Apollo”? I can’t even find a gif.

Holy shit what is that