Someone check the local morgue.

We welcome you, and we hope you’ve seen Jezebel’s coverage of your fellow feminist man, Matt McGorry.

Pretty sure she’s a British singer who looks like Rihanna.

Such lies. I’ve seen ads with Ellen, photoshopped to look all haggard.

Missed opportunity to have him zip around in a pentagram, Bobby.

My friend was pregnant (and it was known) over April Fools, and on the day, her husband posted an ultrasound of triplets on Facebook. That was fun to watch. The weird part is that a couple of years later, his sister actually had triplets.

And when you sit down for a TV interview, it folds in on itself.

When I was pregnant, a coworker had me pee on a pregnancy test so she could wrap it and give it to her boyfriend for Christmas. I only agreed because she swore she’d only make him sweat for two seconds, and that he’d find it funny. (He did.)

Does anyone remember him from Lost? Pics? He rings zero bells for me.

#KinjaGoals

Cleopatra, Queen of DeNial.

My son thought everyone had a penis until he was 2.5, falling asleep on my lap: “I have penis... You have penis... We all have penissssssZZZZZZ...” That was a weird day.

Dude, that cartoon was so awful. You must admit that. The first episode had like 12 callbacks to the unaired pilot. What even IS that?

I do not care for his work. I was also very annoyed that he made a cameo in Lego Batman 3 and my son bought him for like 200,000 studs.

Ariana? That you?

Man, FUCK jump scares. I love horror movies. Psychological thrillers? Yes. Schlocky slashers? Yes. Cheap jump scares with no actual substance? Nooooo. I turned off Insidious less than halfway through, because I was seriously concerned for my heart health, but I was literally not scared once. Just startled, about 20…

I think I’ve found this year’s Halloween costume. 2 contrasting shirts, long denim skirt. I will block access to the bathroom and shriek about God when people complain.

I was as a teen, but now, no. Honestly, I don’t break any laws, so there’s no reason to be afraid. No weed, no speeding... Hell, one showed up at my cookout this summer because a neighbor was setting off fireworks, and mine was the first party he came across. I happily chatted with him while drinking sangria. But when…

Ugh, condolences

So jealous. They show clips of GDNY on The Soup sometimes, and I’m hoping hoping it’s a Greg clip. He’s hilarious. “Science! “ (shrugs)