Lol, August 8 through 23. We do a weekend of sailing every year with my aunt and uncle, and often sail to MV. So I made sure to tell my aunt the dates. We are stalking the first family this year, dammit!

Last year, I was on Martha’s Vineyard a week AFTER the Obamas. We heard great stories from locals. :(

Getting day drunk with Billy Eichner and Big Bird.

I had unique and beautiful butterflies at my wedding. Okay, fine, they were just the regular orange kind.

I can beat her- were the 2 hours of toasts in a language that she spoke? Was alcohol available? Did they have enough food for all the guests, once dinner was finally served?

It’s terrible and all my dumb friends loved it and forced me to watch it over and over as a teen.

Is Gordon Lightfoot still around?

Well now ranch dressing is ruined.

Starring for “snack dinner.”

Once when you first get it, then five years later, then you look for it on your 10th anniversary and it’s disappeared.

Huh, I’m 366 days older than you.

That shirt sounds great. Also, happy birthday! When was it?

LOL LOL LOL I have this image in my head of a movie montage where a modern woman takes a Victorian woman shopping for a makeover and a driver’s license and stuff. BRB, pitching it to Amy Schumer. We’ll spilt the fee.

My kid isn’t allowed to learn about citizenship from the Boy Scouts because he’s an atheist, so I guess I’ll just keep NPR on in the car.

I would like to know more about prescription sunscreen, if you please?

That is so rad. Please high five your cousin, and say it’s from Jenn.

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH DEACON FROM KING OF QUEENS??

Caramel Frappuccinos are so much better when they’re fat free. Regular makes my tongue feel greasy.

That tears it, I’m opening an Etsy shop that sells lactation participation ribbons.

“Cinamin.” THRICE.