So maybe my problem isn’t that I’m not Tinder-fluent, but that I’m not LA-fluent?

I prefer this ‘do

I’m not a customer myself, so please correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t Tinder use GPS to tell you whose genitals are nearest yours? Why would a celebrity want to be more easily stalkable?

They’re weird ladies. They’ll hang out in the living room during parties and everything. They don’t care for other cats, dogs, or toddlers, but adults, big kids, and infants do not scare them one bit.

The key word here is “reasonable.”

I really feel like they both had to have their teams explain to them who the other one was.

My cats actually welcome belly rubs, so my husband took a long time to learn that this wasn’t the norm. He’s fallen for so many traps, poor guy.

You can cover them with a glue stick and then concealer. I mean, if you want to.

Who’s the third guy, Archie Bunker?

I wonder what Candace would think if Cosby had drugged and raped his wife.

Are you eating Chips Ahoy or something? I kind of want to bake you some cookies now.

Hippo chef.

Seriously, how did they teach her to pedal? I’ve been trying for ages to teach my human child and he just. Doesn’t. Get it. Any parents out there have tips?

Point of order, Leslie Knope is firmly anti-library, and has gone on record regarding her stance numerous times.

It’s fabulous!

I’m so curious about your star game. Do you have a whole folder? Do you schedule 20 minutes a day to find new and interesting star gifs? And most importantly, does it feel as good as I think it does to earn one? I bet it does.

This was very fun to read.

Laurent Fleury is the Frenchest name ever. I would not be able to pronounce it correctly without turning my throat inside out, I’m pretty sure.

That was a movie. It was called S1mone. It was kinda dumb.