How great was last night’s episode?? When Faith burst out laughing and Adam hugged her...

Apparently I make a very specific face when eavesdropping on other tables at restaurants, and my husband loves calling me out on it.

The jerk store called. They’re running out of you!

Yogurt is for children. I will get my probiotics in capsule form, thank you.

My IKEA coffee table will thank you to not drag its good name into this.

SAME! I think I’d also recognize Cher and Jaden Smith.

I didn’t know that. I just knew about the wheat/potato thing because I used to live near a liquor super store that always had promotional tastings, and one time they were doing a vodka tasting, so I listened to the lady’s spiel so I could drink free vodka.

Apparently, a lot of vodkas these days are made from wheat rather than potatoes, so that’s actually a valid thing to mention in reference to vodka. But still, fuck the gluten-free people who don’t actually need to be gluten-free.

I still say “that’s hot.” And maybe “Stars are Blind” was a ripoff of “The Tide is High,” but it was an awesome ripoff.

Ted Nugent is a garbage person, but you can’t tell me Stranglehold isn’t awesome.

Is Lena Dunham’s tweet referencing the Pinkett-Smiths?

I’m not on Team Selfie Stick AT ALL, but why did they need to shut down the ride for an hour? Did the stick fall and jam up the works or something?

Lost me at “homeopathic hospital.”

I would...

I went to a wedding in Rochester, NY years ago, and everyone was BANANAS for Wegmans. We’re starting to get them in MA now, and I don’t understand the hype. Are they different there? What’s so great about Wegmans? The cafe food at mine is TERRIBLE, and the layout is so confusing, I have to double back multiple times.

Dying at SVU as a verb.

I was on a jury once, and I had to disclose on a form that I have a family member who’s incarcerated. The judge called me up and asked, based on that, would I be unlikely to believe testimony given by a law enforcement officer? I said nope, and was not dismissed. I think it’s really up to the judge’s discretion.

My husband always wanted kids. At first I didn’t, then around the time we got engaged (23), I’d become ambivalent and said fine, I guess I’d have one for him, probably. We got married at 25. By 28, my uterus was all, “BAYYYYBEEEEE! PUT ONE IN ME NOW!” So we did. It would have been better, financially, to wait another…

Please can I be ungreyed?

“I think she love me.” Ginuwine, we need to talk about life choices for a moment.