I think she made a lot of that money selling Brandi Glanville's tears to Satan as lubricant.

It is BYOT, bring your own towel, or you can come naked and help get the partyyyyy started.

Hey, my record is two guys in seven years. And that is just scaring them away with my face.

And in a house far far away evil mastermind Ryan Seacrest and Grand Dame Kanye are consoling a grief-stricken Khloe. "Do not worry Khloe, this will make for great television!" cries Ryan Seacrest and "If we have another girl you can have it Khloe!" eagerly says Grand Dame Kanye.

Outside of a window little Mason walks by with his sister Penelope on a leash, "The little Lord Disick commands you to defecate! The Master Lord Disick and Lady Kourtney are far too busy to potty train yet another offspring!"

Kim looks at her 30carat engagement ring and sighs, "We shall distribute the wedding invitations through Kylie's tumblr, and have a ceremonial croquet mallet bashing of the Jenner family at Bruce's Malibu manhouse."

Kim struts into the Jenner family livingroom, her skintight python-skin clown-suit hugging her post-baby curves. Kris Jenner sits in the corner admiring her face in a mirror-encrusted handmirror with its youthful glow from sucking the life out of Bruce Jenner for two decades. She cackles to herself, "The forth…

YES YES IT IS AND YOU ARE STILL A NERDY NERD NERDFACE!!!!

Man, I know it is supposed to be gross- you know virginity, presenting young women to eligible men and whatever, but I would love to do this. At my present social and financial state the debutante ball I'll be having will involve my garage, a white towel, and canned champagne.

MY YEARBOOK PHOTO!

I am going to tell this to my racist neighbor, science says we are all African, so stop being a dick.

What is funny is that Gossip Girl was in its like first or second season when I started high school and it was such hot shit with all of my classmates. Well, the upper middle-class white girls at least. (Most of whom despised our school for being "ghetto".) Every time someone asked me if I watched the show and I said…

That is a brilliant idea. I have more than enough material too. Guess who got frenched for the first time when the fire alarm was pulled and the whole school had to evacuate?

I don't know why these movies couldn't get made. A teenage vampire tv show or movie gets put into production every ten minutes.

Well then I will just have to plan a spring wedding. :)

I neeeed him. Also Glenn and Maggie figures so I can stage their wedding.

Why no Herschel with detachable leg?

Because it is the vagina of the future.

I second, every year after high school has gotten way way better.

I am sure you are totally rad ScreaMimi, and a great big internet bear hug back at you. When I was in high school I thought life would suck forever. But you know that whole once ya hit rock bottom thing, it applies because even if my life is not absolutely fabulous now, it is better than it was. Yea I am just a…