That was how high school went for me friends wise, I should have just worn a girdle. At least then maybe fewer people woulda picked on me about my weight.

Where did she go to school? At my high school walking around in white gloves and pearls would have just got you the shit kicked out of you everyday until graduation.

However, if you can do all of the things on that list that do not involve racism or violating someone else's body or space, you should take pictures and upload them to the internet.

DO IT. Ok? Do it. It will be the best thing ever.

In that photo he looks exactly like I am going to look when I am an old lady.

When I finally have my day, like It's Always Sunny when Mac had Mac Day, I am going to make my friends do this.

Shh, sshh, it's ok Sunnyside, they are only tiny because they are just photographs on a screen.

I read this as "Equinox Ditches Famed Pervert Terry Richardson For Next Ad Champagne" and I thought yea, let's celebrate with champagne. And a ritual burning of his plaid shirt and glasses, as both a plaid shirt and glasses wearer I am insulted that this is now considered the uniform of sexual perversion.

When I go "ew, gross" to the outside cats they look murderously affronted. It is frightening.

I worship cats and wear all black and everybody thinks I am involved in a cult. Karl does it and he is fashion royalty.

I AM SNUGGLING FLEA COVERED MURDERERS!

I work because . . . I don't work. I have no job and no one will hire me. I want to though, so if that makes me a man, hey lady make me a sandwich. 300 will get you a ring, but 50 gets you a ride on the Pencil of Promise.

I shall celebrate Cat Day in honor of the cats who hunt in the woods near my house, they celebrate me constantly by bringing me gifts of half eaten chipmunks and letting me finger comb their matted fur until they bite at me.

True true blue, in the constitution state. It was mind boggling how racist that nasty old fuck thought he could be in a generally laid back liberal atmosphere. I mean if you know most people are not going to agree with you why not keep your trap shut?

Last year I had an English professor who thought slavery was totally cool so long as you were really nice to your slaves. This did not go over well with his mostly black community college class. He looked to me like "fellow white person, back me up", I just looked back at him like "yea right I'm not a cracker and not…

A seven minute song from Justin Timberlake is about six minutes and forty-five seconds too long for me. But the idea of him sexing The King's granddaughter is enough to put me off of my lunch.

Nah, it's what I call my dong.

I am sorry everything was ruined for you JokerJunkie. :(

Never propose to a male sex interest the question of whether or not he is interested in you to the point where if you turned into a Fallout ghoul would he still want to date you.

Yea, I get that with my pets. But I like that your cat looks like he is at the point where he's like "I think I am gonna puke, but I wanna pass out, so I think tonight's the night I drown in my own vomit."