I know but my brain still hopes SF can turn it around. It will always be my first favorite city and home, give it back tech bros! GIVE IT BACK!

Thank you. People that scream about the Bible have rarely actually read it, except for those cherry-picked passages that prop up their prejudices.

If anyone actually read their Bible and saw what, the description of that, it’s disgusting.

i am beginning my personal transformation into a lifestyle blogger as we speak

can’t wait until someone tells her that she, too, will die like everyone else

I’d set myself on fire, honestly. Or I’d write in Snuffleupagus.

Panton told Jezebel in an emailed statement. “Ted and I had many mutual friends who would usually stop by to watch movies, play video games, or even engage in long, fun discussions about politics, philosophy, and life.”

Dammit, I came here hoping for a Mariah Carey-esque tour rider. Bernie doesn’t like busy patterns. He also wants 20 white kittens and 100 white doves to be released when he goes on stage for the debate.

“I sure hope — we’re in Bernie Sanders’ backyard here in New Hampshire — I sure hope he intends to show up in his neighboring state”...“There is nothing worse than a debate about debates.”

I wish I had the author’s positive outlook on the Zika virus changing the minds and hearts of those who are anti-choice. Actually, they’ll double down — if Those Women had just used mosquito repellent correctly/had kept their legs shut/had trusted Jesus more, they wouldn’t be in this position!

The U-pick-em pro-life responses to the Zika Virus:
“They shouldn’t have traveled to a third world country.”
“They shouldn’t live so close to a third world country.”
“They should’ve lived in another country.”
“They shouldn’t be having sex.”

Go all out and say “You were adopted by the darkness. I was born into it, molded by it” etc. Extra points if you do a Bane voice.

tfw ur pupils are gigantic but ur definitely not high on molly

After all this time, Alan.

"Can you dress me in a sack that you have somehow discovered a way to crease?"

"One oval-shaped suit, please."