While I'm pretty sure that they ARE trolling at this point, I admit that these sound totally effective. If you stock my pantry with this shit, I sure will lose a lot of weight. There's no fucking way I'm drinking those!

I'm about 14 or 15 and after many misfires I'm about to get that cherry busted to all hell. Me and my boyfriend have secured my house, my parentals are at work, my kid sister is safely with the grandparents. So homeboy and I get all types of teenage naked, post up on my sweet daybed and assumed the missionary…

You can't make me pick one of those. I would rather wear the Laura Ashley curtain wrap around shorts.

I was starting to read this when my 8 year old walked in. I managed to scroll up so only the feet showed, and she said "is that a rhino? scroll down, I want to see it..."
I said, "there's some Twizzlers in the car... you should go get them!"

We dated for a year and a half after this. And got a dog.

My boyfriend at the time decided that he wanted to try a little light bondage with me. Okay, sure. A couple of minutes later I was tied to the bed. He couldn't decide what to do next, so he covered me up with a blanket and left the dorm room. I was still tied to the bed. Still naked.
His roommate came back to the room,…

Around this time last year, I was enjoying the pleasure of my brand new boyfriend going down on me. First of all, score - he seemed to genuinely like oral sex, and wasn't half bad at it. I'm feeling all happy inside and my toes are curling when I feel this strange thin fluid start leaking all around my bottom half. He…

This story has never been unveiled and I'm three whiskeys deep while dinner is still-a-cookin' so I figured "hey why not put it on the internet?!" I know, I know, my genius is unmatched. So, anywho—-

Upscale hotel in Boston, weekend getaway. I booked a regular room but it was REALLY NICE. Like, a lot nicer than I thought from the pictures and what not. Whatevs. After a lovely dinner, me and my guy are going at it on the king bed I don't remember booking? (*shrug* I'll take it) and mid-moan, mid-thrust, my guy is…

Just be glad you didn't include "Love" as a drug option. Imagine where we'd be.

What is this, like a Mormon naughtiness bracket?

In general, weaponized liberal outrage is a devastating resource, and we must only use it for good.

It's Pinterest; they're trying to be classy.

Yeah, what about all the people who just like to post pictures of butts? Maybe that's their "lifestyle inspiration." Who are we to judge?

Wait. Hackers put up pictures of clothed butts instead of some kind of bestiality porn? Are they going soft?