RU-FI-OOOOOOO!!!

I am waiting on a gyro pizza. It better get here soon, because this codeine cough syrup is tearing a hole through my gut.

Chafee looks like the 2 dudes from Whose Line Is It Anyway had a baby

STILL WOULD

I am looking to hire cooks and waitstaff for my newest restaurant - Punchie’s This Is How We Serve It.

Over-worked, under paid, under appreciated and surrounded by shitty kids? Yes give that person a firearm.

Basil and mint are super easy to grow. Take a stem/cutting of either (or even buy some in the refrigerated section of the store) and cut the stem on an angle. Get a clear glass bottle, put water in it and stick the cutting(s) in it and stick it on a window ledge. They will quickly sprout roots and you can keep cutting…

Hello SNS! I’m pretty new to commenting, so I offer up my dog as a bribe to be my friend:

Hi everyone, I just stopped by to show some progress on my sculpture. It is a plaster rhino head that is slowly but surely getting covered in pennies. It weighs a zillion pounds and I’ve only finished the bottom but overall I’m very happy.

Not an herb but used to season, green onions and leeks. Buy a bunch from the grocery store, use what you need until it gets down to the whitish root type parts, cut it off and plant in a small pot. They generate like crazy and you will perpetually have green onions or leeks.

We used to have a family joke that we would open a restaurant called “Travolta’s” where all the waiters would be dressed like John Travolta characers and the only thing that we would serve were cheeseburgers, fries and a $5 shake.

Dude, stop trying to squeeze into the medium sized t-shirts. You ain’t fooling anybody old man.

Tell her if she loves your scar so much you’d be willing to give her one twice as long anywhere she wants it. Then do the dragging the thumb across your neck thing for good measure.

MOIST!!! (am I first?)

Not if the children are running amuk in a public place, such as a restaurant or store, and the parents are blissfully candy crushing in a corner with no concern for wrangling their spawn.

My Busia and Ciocia Barb used to spend interesting quality time with me. I was an insomniac since I was two (and still am 27 years later) so they would take me out driving downtown and we’d go “looking for Cinderella”. And by that, I mean we’d drive by the drag bars and look at the drag queens and Cioc and Busia would…

I needed a mop. FFS.

My college roommate became a tattoo artist. They had a tradition at the shop he apprenticed at that every artist had to have one tattoo that they’d give away for free to anyone who asked, but the catch was they were so stupid no one would actually ask for them. His was a flaming bologna sandwich riding a motorcycle. I…

i thought it was a bad idea immediately. but now it’s been a reminder to not take myself too seriously.

Isn’t it like $1.98 for a whole bottle of Boone’s Farm?