“...his genitals came flying out of his shorts while trying to beat five seconds.”

That's at least a 7.2. Not sure what the 40 time was.

I was 13-14 in the mid-70s, and I got a lot of attention from grown men. I was thrilled by it. Boys my age either ignored me, barked at me, or called me names. Adult men talked to me like I was a person, admired me, complemented me. At the time, it was bliss, and I felt it made me special. And thanks mainly to a lack…

Of all the things to to worry about, the mental health of this egocentric wanker is not one of them...

Yeezy, Paul was a divisive figure and the father of homophobia, anti-semitism (through preaching what became supercessionism) and wildfire misogyny. We should not be celebrating him.

All true.

Oh, and by the way, the very latest from Kanye’s fashion collection:

I try. I try so hard with Kanye, because I think some of the shit that is rained down on him has at least a little to do with the color of his skin, but good lord that man is a full-fledged man-child asshole. It’s like performance art at this point, but really bad performance art where the guy stands in the middle of…

It’s really scary when you realize Kim Kardashian is the smart one in that relationship.

I think he asked for her blessing to write a lyric saying he should collect on having sex with Taylor Swift for making her famous.

Kanye is an asshole and will always be an asshole.

Ah yes, shall we just return to the mashed potato and twist to satisfy your generational needs?

Nobody fucks with DeJesus.

The first film, released in 1990, is a legitimate classic that holds up very well.

Her orange skintones in the Bay movies made me think of Janice from the Muppets.

I have this sick feeling that Transformers 1 Megan Fox was the real Megan Fox who had met an untimely death after the first movie, so Michael Bay built an advanced animatronic rig using the latest Hollywood technology in her likeness so that he could keep her demise a secret. Like so:

Megan Fox looks more lifelike with every movie. She’s come a long ways since her Transformers days, when she was clearly a modified Jar Jar Binks CGI asset incorporating elements of Angelina Jolie circa Cyborg 2.

15 years ago my friends pranked me really hard that I won the DC shoes monthly giveaway by calling my house and acting like they were from DC. I was suckered really good and got laughed at for weeks. So I wrote DC an email telling them about this story and how I should win it for real and punk those guys right back. I…

I wonder if falling a lot during his career led to CTE and depression.

I don’t see any Ebola. You should be fine.