That grin by the security guard in the background is fucking priceless.

And now to our eye in the sky News Chopper.

I love how the one with the iPad is just like "OH GOD PLEASE LET NO ONE HAVE NOTICED."

Was THAT what that was? That thing was way more upsetting to me.

No joke. Y'all do know we can see you, right? Also, kudos to whoever made a "March Madness 2014" photo album that includes helicopter crash photos, Edward Scissorhands, some weird savory pastry, and a penis.

How big?

Any fan who thought the large beer was a better deal and shelled out $7 for the 20 oz. beer instead of paying $8 for two 16 oz. deserves what they got.

Well that's your problem in the first place. Swim teams don't run.

I grew up and live in Massachusetts. Every radio station here rarely plays anything past 1999. Hard to believe Daft Punk is the most listened to band in this uncultured state. My money would have been on: Aerosmith, Bush, Candlebox, Staind, or Limp Bizkit.

Do Imagine Dragons parents live in Sioux Falls?

God Dammit South Dakota

Just so you know, sometimes, that costs extra.

We could stream a tasteful memorial for net neutrality, but the stream probably wouldn't run smoothly...

Figures Rice couldn't manage more than 3 yards on this carry

Poor sled design appears to be the problem. You want the country name on top and the abbreviation on the bottom.

Only the most rabid fans turn out for spring-training workouts.

That's enough deadspin for me today.

"At least he's not gay."