Well if your mum disowns you I’ll happily adopt you. I’m only 31 but I would rather be Miley’s mum any day.

Yes. She wants you to have a squad and squad goals.

My dad loves Katy Perry but I think it’s just the boobs.

My dad loves Beyoncé so by this logic I’m probably a huge disappointment to him.

Thank you for this post. So much to enjoy, but most importantly, I remembered I haven’t listened to Dolly Parton’s cover of Stairway to Heaven in aeons, and that must be addressed posthaste.

My dad loves Lady Gaga, so I have no idea.

What now???

It was, actually!! (I'm serious.)

welp time to shut down the local fetal remains wading pool I guess

What a looser, sad. That building and sign is absolutely fugliest thing on Chicago skyline.

In winter, it's only 33 stories.

I heard this building uses lifts to make itself appear taller.

ladies, ladies, it’s not about the size of the tower, but the speed of the elevators

Counterpoint: me and my doggy who is going to cross the old rainbow bridge in 3.5 hours. :/

Counterpoint: Tandoori Chicken

shut up bobby

I’m dying. This was very well done, for a man.