It is absolutely not celebrating the crime of Jack the Ripper but looking at why and how the women got in that situation in the first place.

A little salad joint just opened up near my work called “Toss’d - Custom Salads”

I have developed a new fuck, marry, kill for the GOP, as I would never fuck or marry any of them. It’s called punch in the face, kick in the balls or spit on. Let’s play with Huckabee, Trump and Walker. I’d kick Huckabee in the balls, punch Walker in the face and spit on Trump. Anyone else want to play?

But charring the hell out of a slab of cow sure as hell doesn’t make it a vegetable.

But boy does it make it tender!

I’ll keep posting it.

as a species, we need to finally admit that Fireball is horrible

I live in Madrid and have for nearly half my life. An old friend who I haven’t seen since high school came to visit me recently with his five year old. He asked me if it was ok to bring kids to restaurants. I was kind of weirded out because, well, as long as he’s not screaming or wandering around, kids are welcome.…

I feel like this is such a rare moment in internet history. July 22, 2015: article about screaming children is posted on the internet, commentariat comes to sane and reasonable consensus.

“Hey, you’re strangling my son!”

RIGHT?! It’s like “I don’t care if it’s a pancake the size of my ample ass, it’s not going to take 40 minutes.”

*Jurassic Park music* Douchery...douchery finds a way.

I HAVE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY FOR THIS

This is a bit of a tangent, but since the glorious #BobbyJindalIsSoWhite was never discussed on Jez, I think I shall share some of my favorites :

Note to self: If I ever meet Drew Magary, do not shake his hand.

Paint yourself silver first?

I love when you talk about food... seriously, absolutely truly love your columns.