It’s that super efficient German engineering!

....can a nazi flag even be flown upside-down?  Like, isn’t the emblem right-side-up no matter what?

Hitler loved his dog and was a vegetarian. Sorry Mom, who gives a shit?

Maybe it’s because I’m now an old, but I just do not understand all of these kids and their face tattoos. They always look terrible. Am I missing something?

Who ever sincerely thought that Two and a Half Men* was a funny show? How the hell did it get so popular? Don’t people know that there’s Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon available with MUCH BETTER content?

If they had such high standards why did they hire him in the first place? These tweets came to light over 5 years ago when he was hired and he apologized then.

To be honest I don’t believe she did as this didn’t come out when she filed against him for abuse. Instead it’s coming out when he’s completely in debt, a drug addled mess, and proven to be untrustworthy when it comes to his word.

I get the sense that Johnny Depp isn’t just a physical abuser, but an emotional abuser as well.

It’s so difficult for me to see someone I’ve lusted after reveal himself as such an asshole. Johnny, grow the fuck up.

Seche vite, mon amie. It can be purchased from Walmart. Game changer dry fast top coat. 

Oh, that’s my favorite time to do my nails! I paint them, apply a quick-dry coat, and retire a la Wednesday Addams. By the time I make my first in-sleep movements, they’re already dry. Viola!

would you like to place a bet on me ever leading a story on Jez with Kim again because i’ll win

Vaginal hubris?

N=3, I think we're rapidly closing in on statistical significance.

I am so glad social media did not exist when I was a 20 year old idiot. I would say he's going to be so embarrassed by this when he gets older, but he doesn't appear to have the required capacity for self awareness 

Man, what a punchable face.

“staying fit” “put together” “takes care of themselves” “practices self care” are somehow all dude speak for “no fatties” in dating apps and ads. Only one of them makes any sort of sense to what they actually mean.

Imma let Will Smith on I, Robot handle this one -

His face looks so off. It’s almost like his nose is secret black hole that is sucking the rest of his features towards the center of his face. 4/10 Pass.