I’m obsessed with this article. I don’t know if I want to have a baby but I keep thinking “if I do can I just not tell anyone until after it’s been born for a few months? Or longer?"

Sugar and flour are the devil. Avoid refined whites. Kind of a good rule in general, actually.

FUCK ALL LOW FAT DAIRY!!

Haven’t we gotten over the fat thing, yet? (Not directed to you, Smarktalk).
There are entire cultures that live mostly on fat. Fat is not the enemy.

Manager account spotted.

You’ve been very lucky with your bosses if this doesn’t ring true to you.

Mutual bearding.

I want to put a smiley face sign in my window that indicates me as a emergency, respite child care mom. You? Go take a shower by yourself. Walk through a quiet library. Me? I’ll feed your kid muffins and have them run in the back yard until they are too tired to sass.

I am separating from the man whom many of you know as “Felipe” — the man whom I fell in love with at the end of the EAT PRAY LOVE journey.

Eat, Prey, Kill

Instead of a baby monitor, I tie a string to my kids’ legs and run it down the stairs where it’s attached to a bell. If the bell rings, I know that my kids are up. I can normally just yank really hard on the string and it “trips” them back down into the bed where they’ll fall back asleep. Sometimes they get tangled…

NRA: “His last name suggests he’s not white.
Nothing of value was lost, please continue to hand out guns like candy.”

Nope, only women and children died

Okay, we’ve been over this. Let’s review again, shall we?

‘“It’s really hard to understand how this could happen, how somebody could do that to children,” local police lieutenant Dan McGrath told the press.’

But are you guys still fucking or...?

He’s not using it to moisturize, though.

Man-stuff usually isn’t very good. It just smells “manlier” but is actually much harsher and less moisturizing when it comes to shampoo and conditioner.

As a lifetime hair remover, nothing bugs me more than being condescendingly lectured by other women that my partners are child molesters (“Oh my god! When it’s shaved, that’s how KIDS look! Why does he want to fuck a kid though?!”). Surprise: there are other secondary sexual characteristics besides hair that…