A good fuck followed by a joint and then some ice cream is pretty much the holy trifecta. It doesn’t get much better than that.

fucking ice cream, you savages

The last thing I want to do after sex is eat. What goes best after sex? A shower.

I am a full-grown adult and I like her makeup~

If it’s good makeup, it’s good makeup. I know people love to call the Kardashians no-talent, but that’s clearly not true. They are master marketers and have a keen understanding of the zeitgeist.

The guy seriously couldn’t even bother finding a European wall lizard or something? Herpetological laziness is what that is.

Very few people actually care about abused children.

Leann Rimes has always reminded of Falkor from Neverending Story:

It’s not though. The only people I know that ‘like’ it have a very questionable relationship with food.

If they would just show me posts from people I’m following in a nice chronological format instead of deciding what they think I want to see, this wouldn’t be a problem, now would it.

I have stomach issues that sometimes lead to big time gas bloating (ew, TMI, I know) and can go from having a relatively flat stomach to looking 5 months pregnant over the course of a couple of hours. I would HATE being famous and having people speculating about my body.

Jesus. After being on a diet, dental issues, losing 15 pounds and last night going out to eat and eating a super high fat dinner and now waking up feeling like a bloated mess...I literally am sitting here feeling like I am 8 months pregnant.

MY FEATHER IS FUCKING TIMELESS DAMNIT.

Meanwhile, Scaramucci’s wife, Deidre Ball, has filed for divorce. According to a person, she is “fed up with his ruthless quest to get close to President Trump, whom she despises.” Okay.

You know, women don’t have to be eaten out for 20 minutes to get off.

“The swamp will not defeat him,” he said, breaking into the third person. “They’re trying to resist me, but it’s not going to work.”

He killed their mother in front of the kids! Jesus wept. I’m going home and crawling into my bong.

You’re right that it’s similar to Crate & Barrel stylistically, but it’s also substantially cheaper, which is why it’s extremely popular for young people starting out with their first few apartments. For instance:

It generally has decent quality for the price- you can get something really shitty for $5 that functions, or you can pay more and get something decent. The same is not true for the vast majority of places- Target/Walmart/Etc is all shit, Higher-end stores tend to be a lot more money.

No, we can’t agree on that. I found it delightful.