Some parents will do anything to keep you in their control. Mine tried to pay my husband to abandon me, as they were/are convinced that he is after my money. Then I was meant to live with them forever and not work.

It’s so interesting that people don’t think women can make decisions about their own bodies but are somehow magically capable of raising a child, whether or not they wanted said child.

When I used to work at a grocery store, the register rang up Land O’Lakes Buttermilk as “LOL BUTT MILK” which is only tangentially related to this but I found it 10000% hilarious.

Um it very clearly says CHEESEburger, So I mean obviously it’s made of cheese.

Mmmm Rotisserie Cassowary

Man, I hate it when it sands in the winter, and I have to wait for the roads to be cleared before I can drive. I hate shovelling sand in the driveway, too. THough I love making sandmen, and having sandball fights...

I don’t know but apparently I have 2 pints of vagina in my fridge that need some love!

Ok, assuming you’re not kidding here (because there are serious comments like this every week and you’ve done nothing too over the top to show you’re being sarcastic) a person who keeps Kosher or Halal would know what “pork” means because it would be incredibly important for them to know that. If your diet forbids you…

And even if they are one of the people who needs a calculator for everything, calculators are cheap! Most of us have one on our persons at all time thanks to cell phones! If you need one for everything, carry one!

Also, I’m a firm believer in the policy of sometimes you offer free stuff to regulars as something nice. They don’t get to demand it.

She proceeds to explain to him that only a hamburger contains meat, and that a cheeseburger is vegetarian. She says she knows this because she has been to McDonald’s in London literally *hundreds* of times in the last few years, and that a cheeseburger is always vegetarian when she orders one!

Also to be fired into the sun: the first person who tries to justify the “$12.10+$3.90 = $15.00” idiot with some version of “but math is HAAAARD.” Nope. Just nope. An adult human who cannot add decimals is not adorably-quirkily-bad-at-math-teehee and not…

He might be there all the time, but that doesn’t make him a regular. You have to do shit like interact with the staff and know their names to do that. There used to be a Cosi near my office and I used to chat with the staff about the books we were all reading and how their families are and stuff. I don’t remember…

“What’s homo milk? Is this milk from GAY COWS?!” he demands, utterly* seriously, even angrily.

The Reuben one reminded me of a story Terry Pratchett told. He said that one jet-lagged evening he accidently asked for Three Mile Island dressing for his salad. The waitress didn’t say a word, just brought him Thousand Island dressing and a bottle of hot sauce.

Noelle is a genius. I would have never figured out that the guy was freaking out over the sharpie smell.

If Cheeseburgers are vegetarian food, then I can say with all certainty that I can be a vegetarian.

Because they think women are evil bitches who lie about rape to fuck with fine, upstanding men. That's all there is to it.

Bad news for . . . the people who love them

We’re also removed from the multi-generational living that used to exist in our culture. Living near retired parents who can help out is just not the norm anymore. Being isolated from reliable family makes it that much harder to have a work/life balance. I had to start my own business to be able to do it, and…