I am a bit phobic about air travel. I’m the spazzy person who white knuckles the arm rest and goes into meditative breathing anytime the captain mentions it’s time to buckle up because we have some turbulence ahead. But twice now I have been seated next to the only person on the plane who was more afraid to fly than I…

My middle name is the fairly common Rose. I was given it because my mom is a Rosemary.

My godmother’s middle name is Marie, so that’s why my middle name is. I always feel a little vindicated that it was a family name.

He was also my middle school janitor.

Thank goodness the guy didn’t have money, or they’d never have been able to tell if he intended to pay or not. Seriously, the kill kit should have been enough evidence by itself that he didn’t plan to pay.

eating a salad as a full meal is like eating whispers

Yes. Thank you for this. Eating a wrap instead of a sandwich is about as stupid as scooping your bagel. If you want to avoid simple carbohydrates, you shouldn't eat that much bread period. But if you want to eat bread, then FUCKING EAT BREAD. This inbetween nonsense is ridiculous.

Everything is picture perfect. All it needs is a Hollywood star.

As a white person I am more afraid of white people. Seriously they are more likely to be lone gunman or psychopaths who will lock you in their basement.

So if I’m in a movie theater and a white guy sits near me, is it rude for me to get up and move? I’m #notracistbut if white men would stop shooting people at random I wouldn’t have to think this way. #seehowitfeels

Girl with arthritis, here.

My office is fucking freezing and it adds to my already intense misery at being there for eight+ hours a day. We’re also not allowed to have bare legs so I have to sweat wearing stockings as I walk in from the train. It’s like my office wants us to be at maximum misery.

Twice a year I say fuck it all to hell and I get a Big Mac. Extra sauce. No Pickles. Ketchup. And I inhale that motherfucker in under a minute. And then I go clean the bathroom floor, put down a nice blanket, my husband washes a load of underwear & PJs for me, and I spend 48 hours considering my life choices.

Okay, this all made some form of sense until the temps were mentioned. 68 is a warm house to me. 7fucking7??? That's fucking hot! I guess I'm not as cold a person as I thought.

As someone who is constantly freezing inside, A THOUSAND TIMES YES. I would be way more productive if I didn't alternate typing with one hand while warming the other on my thigh. I also hate dressing appropriately for the day's weather, but having to carry a heavy sweater to be ok indoors.

Naw fool. Ima ghost. Zombies are so passé.

The dose wasn't toxic. He didn't die from the amount of cannabis he died because he jumped off the roof.

the only thing i’m at risk for when eating a pot cookie is being unable to leave my bed and watching too many nicolas cage movies. How do yall have so much energy

He didnt die due to eating a cookie. He died because he came to a sudden stop.

See this is good advice. My wife and I hate most everyone in society so it works out.